Having a Vision for your Child
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As a former participant in the Co-Parenting for Resilience Program at Oklahoma State University, we are pleased to offer you this newsletter with tips to help you achieve the best for your child(ren).
Meaning of Resilience / Having a Vision for Your Child
Help your child bounce back and have a bright future!

Divorce can be a traumatic experience for children. Children’s old routines and rituals have been disrupted and new routines and rituals must be created to help ease the transition for your child. As a parent, it’s important to be aware of your child’s emotions and how they are responding to these changes. Children respond differently to their parents divorce.  You and your co-parent know your child best!  Stay attuned to their needs and help them overcome the challenges they face. The trauma from divorce can produce bad things for children, but you can help them overcome these challenges and be resilient by bouncing back and overcoming this difficulty. 
What does resilience mean to you?
  • Speedy recovery
  • Bouncing back
  • Overcoming problems and challenges
Divorce doesn’t have to be a death sentence. There are things you can do to lessen the impact of divorce on your child to help them bounce back and have a bright future. However, there are also things you can do that will cause your child to have a much more difficult time.
Keep in mind your vision for your child. Having a vision and setting goals will allow you to take control of your situation and lead you and your children on the path you desire. You can’t control your co-parent, but knowing where you are going will allow you to respond to some of the challenges you face and help you relate to your co-parent through this vision for your children. 
Child success is predicted by how parents parent after the divorce. Stress from the divorce can often change the way you parent. Remember to use a balanced style of parenting which is high on emotional expression, love, and support for the child’s needs and best interests. Establish new routines and rituals to help your child adjust to the divorce. Be there for your child when he or she needs to talk and let them externalize their emotions and feelings about the divorce. Although it may be hard to hear, allowing them to share what they are feeling is key to helping them bounce back and have a bright future.
Balanced parenting also involves firm but appropriate discipline and open conversations about why the child is being disciplined. 
When parents use balanced parenting, children tend to be:
  • Respectful
  • Able to make their own decisions
  • Responsible
  • Secure
  • Confident
  • Generous
  • Happy
Need more help? Co-Parenting is hard. We are here to help! Learn more about the Co-Parenting for Resilience Program, part of the Extension mission of Oklahoma State University's College of Human Sciences.
Copyright © 2021 Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service | Oklahoma State University, All rights reserved.

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