Technology and Divorce: Do's and Don'ts.
View this email in your browser
As a former participant in the Co-Parenting for Resilience Program at Oklahoma State University, we are pleased to offer you this newsletter with tips to help you achieve the best for your child(ren).
Technology and Divorce (Do’s and Don’ts)
Regular meetings with your co-parent aren’t always necessary. In fact, less contact is often better for parents who are divorcing.  Many co-parents find that using technology allows for more flexibility and can be used as a buffer in communicating with their co-parent. Here are some do’s and don’ts of using technology to communicate. 
  • Text and email co-parent when communication is needed. Many co-parents find texting and emailing an easy way to communicate with their co-parent and to keep communication at a minimal.  Focus on only interacting about important needs or concerns of the children. 
  • Have a third party read your message before you send it to ensure your message is clear and won’t be misinterpreted by your co-parent. Try and think of a neutral party who could help you clarify your message before you hit send. 
  • Be careful about what you say and how you post a message. Remember that your children may see messages you send your co-parent, so only write what is necessary for communicating about your children. 
  • Consider using co-parenting apps such as these to help you communicate:
    • 2Houses – You can share calendar, pictures, and medical records etc.
    • InBetween – Determines equally distanced meeting place between 2 points
    • Lemon- Scan receipts and track expenses such as medical bills
    • Kidganizer - Promotes positive communication for co-parents who do not always communicate well face to face. It also features custody and expense management.
    • Cozi - Shared calendar app that allows co-parents and children to view the live calendar.
    • Life360 - Allows parents to view the location of their children which can help create peace of mind. The app can also allow children to view the location of their parents.
    • Our Family Wizard - Provides space to share information, manage expenses, and allow access to legal services
  • Send messages when in a heated argument. Make sure you put your phone down or close your laptop to let yourself cool off before you press send.  Remember that you are communicating about what is best for your child and you need to put your own feelings and emotions aside.  
  • Send messages that could easily be misinterpreted by your co-parent. 
  • Send too many messages. Although you may be wondering what your child is doing when they are with your co-parent, it’s important not to send too many messages or check-in too often. Keep communication to a minimum and only check-in when necessary. 
Using technology such as emails, text messages and co-parenting apps can help co-parents reduce conflict. But remember to be careful. Text messages and emails can sometimes be misinterpreted and are a record that can be used against you in court. When you use technology to communicate, you’re communicating non-verbally. When you communicate non-verbally, it’s easy for your co-parent to misinterpret the meaning behind the message. Make sure your messages are clear and straightforward to reduce the risk of misinterpretation. When in doubt, have a third party read over your message before you hit send. 
For more do’s and don’ts of co-parenting, check out the fact sheets Tips for working with an uncooperative co-parent.
Need more help? Co-parenting is hard. We are here to help! Learn more about the Co-Parenting for Resilience Program, part of the Extension mission of Oklahoma State University's College of Human Sciences.
Copyright © 2023 Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service | Oklahoma State University, All rights reserved.

Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp

­­­Oklahoma State University, in compliance with the Title VI and VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Executive Order 11246 as amended, Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, and other federal laws and regulations, does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age, religion, disability or status as a veteran in any of its policies, practices or procedures. This includes but is not limited to admissions, employment, financial aid and educational services. Title IX of the Education Amendments and Oklahoma State University policy prohibit discrimination in the provision or services or benefits offered by the university based on gender. Any person (student, faculty or staff) who believes that discriminatory practices have been engaged in based on gender may discuss his or her concerns and file informal or formal complaints of possible violations of Title IX with OSU’s Title IX coordinator: the Director of Affirmative Action, 408 Whitehurst, Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, OK, 74078, 405-744-5371 or 405-744-5576 (fax).