Learning to 'Fail Forward'

My Own Relational Wisdom Journey

From my early adult years, a desire of my heart has been to become relationally wise in order to impact others in relationally healthy and spiritually edifying ways.
My own continued relational struggles kept reminding me that I had so much to learn and so far to go!  My words were often impulsive and harsh, without regard to timing.  I definitely had far more questions than answers: How do I respond better when feeling unfairly attacked?  How do I say the truthful thing, the needed thing, the hard thing…without being harsh?  Most importantly, in the midst of conflict, how to I better manage my escalating emotions rather than having my emotions master me?

Through the years, by God’s patient grace, I slowly began to change: little by little; choice by choice; learning through much failure.  Scripture meditation was a major component to this ongoing process as I sought to wrap God’s truth not only around my heart but around my tongue.  As God faithfully grew his relational wisdom in me, it increasingly became a part of my own ‘life message’ in the mentoring of other women.  
 An Old Passion, A New Pathway
6 years ago, a deep passion/conviction began to form within me that some specialized training on biblical relational wisdom needed to be developed.  But by me?  I didn’t know!  And IF by me, how and where would I start?  The psalmist felt the same unsettling feeling when he cried out in Psalms 143 “show me where to walk for I am trusting you…place my feet on firm footing…for the glory of Your name, oh Lord.” 
Little did I know that God had already been at work preparing someone else’s heart with the very same burden.  Ken Sande, through a new ministry entitled Relational Wisdom 360, had already begun designing a biblically structured process to instruct others in relational wisdom. That year (2012-13), I began the intensive process to become a certified RW instructor.  A perfect partnership: my passion and their material!

"Telling is Not Teaching and Listening is Not Learning" 
However, after doing many retreats and seminars over these past 5 years, the ‘teacher’ in me felt something was missing. I was telling, but was I teaching? They were listening, but to what extent were they actually learning?  Because true learning involves lasting change.  The RW material is so practical and insightful – yet, to what extent is it information overload?  How can we better help folk apply these great truths in the everyday realities of their lives?  Those questions have been motivating me to find pathways that would take these concepts and help folk better apply and integrate them into everyday living.
Over the past 5 years, I have, simultaneously, been doing leadership coaching through Navigator Church Ministries, working with pastors and church leaders to help them achieve personal and ministry goals.  The results have been absolutely amazing!  Could this be the answer - combining the Coaching Process with Relational Wisdom?  
A Ministry Merger
Last month, I specifically prayed: “Lord, how can you use me in this?  Make my paths straight as to where and how you will use me to be a part of this process.”  Once again, that very evening, God orchestrated another merging of Ken Sande’s passion with mine.  A brief call from Ken went something like this:  
“Patti, I won’t take a lot of your time but wanted to run something by you.  We want to develop a coaching pathway for relational wisdom and wondered if you would be open to join us in the development process?”  
My jaw dropped!  Again!! God so clearly at work to “place my feet on firm footing, for the glory of His name”.   

Up Next
This next week I will travel to the Rocky Mountains for our Relational Wisdom Certified Instructors Retreat. During this time, I will be a part of presenting this new development to the instructors and staff.  

Specifically, here is where I could use your prayer:

  • My travel to and from Colorado July 12-15 for Relational Wisdom Instructors Retreat (preferably, no back issues).
  • Presenting the Coaching process through a devotional in Nehemiah 4 - then modeling with Corlette Sande what a coaching session would look like.  Pray for clarity and sharpness of mind to coach spontaneously and effectively.  Pray for Chip Zimmer as he leads this presentation time as well as overseeing the project.
  • Further training in my own coaching skills in order to effectively train up new coaches for Relational Wisdom 360. 
  • Wisdom for the RW team as we together craft the RW Coaching process.
  • Additional Funding!  $3500 (tuition, travel, housing) for additional training & ministry costs.
Thank you for your partnership with us.  May Our God abundantly enrich you with His perfect wisdom in all your relationships. 

Patti Damiani

Upcoming events 

July 12-15  Certified Relational Wisdom Instructors Retreat - Colorado @ Tarryall Ranch

October 24 -27 Conferece - Workshop -" Get Real & Go Deep by Healing Relational Pain Instead of Hiding It" (Principles of Relational Wisdom applied to Disciplemaking)

Oct 31 - November 1 Dallas TX Navigators Church Ministry Conference - Workshop "Disciple Making Happens in Mature and Authentic Relationships" (Resolving Conflict)

Anchor Point Ministry is  a 501(c)(3) tax exempt nonprofit corporation. Contributions are tax deductible.

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Anchor Point Ministry · 1079 Jayrogers Ct · Traverse City, MI 49696 · USA

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