Two weekends ago Gracie Gold skated a flawless long program to win 1st place in the Women's U.S. Figure Skating Championship. Her long performance was exquisite and filled with things like triple toe loops, triple axel jumps, camel spins, arabesques, layback spins, and of course beautiful and artistic choreography. She made skating look easy, effortless, and fun. And, it made me want to don a pair of skates and find the nearest ice to glide away on shiny silver blades. But the hard and cold reality is, I have never had skating lessons. I watched hours of skating on television, I've heard all of the terminology, and understand what success (and failure) looks like for skaters on the ice. But, I have never personally done a lot of skating. My hours on the rink are minuscule - and as a result - I would NOT resemble Gracie Gold ON the ice despite how I might picture myself in my mind! :)
This analogy reminds me so much of motherhood. We all know in general what it looks like to be successful in motherhood. (And we know what it looks like to fail!) Prior to having kids we know lots of the terminology and jargon of motherhood. And, we may have even done a lot of babysitting when we were younger - or have a profession working with children. But, regardless of our training and knowledge prior to having kids, there is still some training that can ONLY come from experience and doing it. Yet, how many times do we feel guilt or shame because our skating performance in motherhood looks a little clunky, awkward, and wobbly? After all, we "know" about motherhood. We love it. So,we feel we should be able to "perform" our duties with perfect poise, grace, and beauty.
I remember talking to friend who was a new mom prior to having my children. She was sharing how hard it was to go so many nights with such interrupted sleep. She described her schedule of getting 7- 8 hours of sleep that was also interrupted nightly once, twice or possibly more. As a night owl in my younger years, 5 -6 hours of sleep was quite normal for me. And, I remember thinking, "7 -8 hours doesn't seem too bad?!? Surely I won't have problems with that part of motherhood." And, then came the nights when I personally was the one getting such broken-up sleep for days on end. And, finally, I understood completely what nights of interrupted sleep can do to a person!
Motherhood is also constantly changing. First we are the caregivers to precious, tiny, yet helpless and needy babies. Next, we are the mamas to adorable, curious, and mischievous toddlers with emotional extremes and boundaries to test. Then, we become moms to elementary children navigating the rocky waters of friendship, reading, deeper communication and extracurricular interests and talents. And, on and on the changes go!
We DO NOT expect ourselves to be Gracie Gold on the ice if we haven't ever skated before. (Honestly, we don't even expect ourselves to stay on our feet if we haven't skated before!) So, why do we expect a perfect performance from ourselves in the motherhood rink of life when we are inexperienced and new? How could we give ourselves grace in those moments of motherhood when our ankles wobble about a parenting decision? How about we realize we have learned something valuable when we hit the ice with regret about a discipline strategy. And how can we forgive ourselves and positively move forward when our words spun out of control in that situation? After all, we are all learning. Each life stage of our children is new to us as a mother! We haven't logged those "hours in the rink" yet! So how about we treat ourselves gently? How about we treat ourselves with compassion and grace? And soon with God's help, practice, effort, and some helpful coaching and mentors, we too will be flying along the motherhood rink performing that double lutz jump or sit spin with ease!
Need a Speaker for an Upcoming Event?
Are you seeking an encouraging and fun speaker for an upcoming Mom's Group, Mother's Day Program, Women's Retreat or church event? Carla speaks to large and small groups on topics such as:
How I Accidentally Became an Intentional Mom
How to Avoid Turning Into the Grinch at Christmas
Communication Strategies for Every Relationship
The Secret Power Source of a Super Mom
Celebrating the YOU Mom
Carla speaks honestly from the heart and shares stories from her own life experiences and unique motherhood journey as well as insights from her hundreds of hours working with moms. Words such as "Professional" "Encouraging" "Honest" and "Helpful" describe these talks.
Contact Carla by Phone/ E-mail to Discuss Availability, Additional Topics, Rates and More!
SPEAKING EVENTS March 1
Stones Crossing MOPS (evening group)
Mother Daughter Banquet
Clay City, IN
I help women confidently navigate life during the season of motherhood. Shift from "reacting" to purposefully leading your life - which eliminates overwhelm and guilt and brings joy, satisfaction and fulfillment.