Emotional challenges, migrant emotions, I've had plenty over the last few months. Getting through them has been a struggle. Writing a blog or a newsletter has been in the too-hard-basket. However, now the foggy status of grief is not so thick, I am back. A lingering need, desire or obligation to write has been there, but there were concerns that made me wonder whether I was trivialising the events that were overtaking my life, turning the events from a sad reality and tragedy to a form of entertainment in reading.
The 'events' occurred this year from 19th Jan to 5th March. In that time, in three separate incidences, and on two sides of the planet my mother died and my two very close friends, my age, became widows. These events have made me take a pause in some aspects of life, but now it is time to creep back. Although there are concerns, I could not be true to my blog or newsletter without coming back acknowledging the emotions and events that have kept me away.
I wanted to be sensitive to those around me also grieving. I was aware that grief is a time when all emotions are raw. "People grieving are like porcupines on an island. They keep pricking each other." My mother reminded me in her last few days.
As as immigrant I did feel there were some differences in our emotional challenges while we all cared for our mother. My differences were about my feelings of diconnection to both my homeland and my adopted country while I was going through these challenging times You can read more in my blog, When your mother dies.
Trials of technology
While in my Homeland, UK, I struggled with my new gadgets and old. Learn from my mistakes. Find out what not to do with your gadgets when travelling. Read more here
Immigrants have to side step there career.
Having to take a sideways step or backward step in your career as an immigrant happens to the best of us. PR guru Deborah Read who "immigrated from South Africa to New Zealand in 1995 said she had to work hard to make up for the ground she lost in having to start a new life in a new country.
"I think that's the same for most foreigners, "she said, "you have to work really hard to establish your credentials, your loss of history to prove yourself."
Canvas New Zealand Herald 26th March 2016
Also, from my book,Chapter 15, Career/Work
"You have to accept that people don't know you. They do not know the organisations you have been working for. It is hard to get in." Rebecca
My mother had not been sick when I booked my flight to visit her. Her funeral was after my planned return flight to NZ. I had to book a one way ticket or wait another week to return to New Zealand. I chose to buy the ticket and hope to claim insurance under the change of plans due to death. The insurance company was happy with the forty pages I submitted and the reasons for my claim. However in the small print there was a clause defining the word, 'relative.' My mother was a qualifying relative, being a mother and under 85, but as she was not living in NZ, she did not qualify. I thought I had read the small print. I obviously did not go through it thoroughly enough. The Insurance company was recommended and New Zealand/Australia based. I thought of all the people in the world (migrants especially) who travel to their homeland. Should something happens to them while in their homeland, with this poicy they would ot be covered, for example, while I am visiting my siblings or children in UK if they have an accident, and I have to change plans and stay. I would not be covered. So be forewarned. Read the small print and try to imagine all scenarios that you would require cover for.
It is good to be back. I enjoy the craft of writing. Sharing thoughts and writing about emotional challenges help. Thanks to readers who have supported me so far.
Best wishes to all subscribers. I welcome your comments be email or on my blog. Kind regards,