Introducing a new product from The Chaser for you to panic-buy
Dear Reader,
Throughout the past few decades, marketing professionals have spent countless hours scratching their heads, wondering what motivates people to buy stuff they don't need. It is probably the most important philosophical question of our times. Certainly, it's the thing that our society spends the most resources trying to answer.
During the week, we discovered the answer: delirious, lizard-like panic.
As a result, The Chaser has decided to tweak its business model a bit, to cater to the "panic-buying segment" of Australian consumers, which, judging by this week, is about 100% of them. Previously, we sold a range of high-brow satirical journals and books, but we need to start selling goods that people feel they need during the inevitable lockdown we're about to face.
It was a little hard to work out what to sell. Besides toilet paper, what else could you possibly need during a lockdown? I mean, toilet paper is the only thing you need to survive. Just like everyone else in Australia, we couldn't think of anything else.
But then someone pointed out that people will probably get bored, so they should buy stuff they can play to while away the countless hours.
Introducing, The Chaser's Race Cards. Australians love to play the race card, and we're betting that during a coronavirus lockdown they'll play it even more than before. And it's endorsed by Australian leaders! Countless Liberal Party Prime Ministers have played this game and won!
So panic-buy a pack today. Remember -- THEY'LL PROBABLY RUN OUT IF YOU DON'T IMMEDIATE BUY A LOT OF THEM.
Andrew Hansen's Solo Show
After 25 years of putting it off, Andrew Hansen is finally doing his first solo show ever. It's a brilliant show and he's just announced a whole lot of new dates and cities. It's definitely worth getting along to -- if for no other reason that you can be able to boast to friens "I actually saw his first ever solo show." Details are below.
Charles Firth
Managing Editor
P.S. Brisbane - in the past week there has been a run on tickets for our show on 19th March at Fortitude Valley Music Hall. We suspect people are trying to use to the tickets as toilet paper. But if you were thinking of coming, buy your tickets now because it looks like it will sell out. Check out chaser.com.au/live for the rest of the tour schedule -- new cities will be added soon.
LIVE SHOWS
The Anti-Expert's Guide
to Everything
Are you sick of experts telling you what to think, just because they're "more qualified" than you? At last a show that helps explain how the modern world really works.
- Canberra Comedy Festival, 18 March: SOLD OUT
- Brisbane Comedy Festival, 19 March: BOOK NOW - Selling fast
- Melbourne Comedy Festival, 26 March-5 April: BOOK NOW
- Sydney Comedy Festival – Enmore Theatre, 14 May: BOOK NOW
Andrew Hansen: Solo Show
Andrew Hansen. He’s the actual, real, proper star of The Chaser’s War On Everything, CNNNN and The Hamster Wheel. He’s the good one from The Chaser. So don’t miss this brand-new slate of musical and theatrical treats from Andrew Hansen – including hand-picked classics from the Chaser TV songbook.
- Brisbane Comedy Festival, 12 March: BOOK NOW
- Canberra Comedy Festival, 18 March: BOOK NOW
- Melbourne Comedy Festival, 26 March - 5 April: BOOK NOW
- Newcastle (NEW!), 10 April: BOOK NOW
- Wollongong (NEW!), 15 April: BOOK NOW
- Perth Comedy Festival, 23 - 24 April: BOOK NOW
- Sydney Comedy Festival, 7 - 10 May: BOOK NOW
VIDEOS
We've started putting up videos from our old TV shows online. Check out the video wall on our website. Or subscribe to our official YouTube channel.
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