Only 98 days till Christmas
Dear Reader,
It's only 98 days till Christmas. Which means that it's time to start buying stuff. Lots of stuff.
This year, with Australia being in a deep recession, it is more important than ever for you to consume.
In fact, it's not an exaggeration to say buying stuff is the ultimate act of patriotism this Christmas. Forget everything War on Waste ever taught you. We need to prop up the ailing machinery of capitalism and buy stuff regardless of whether we need it.
That's why I'm pleased to announce that The Chaser will be greatly expanding its merchandising range this year, to help people prop up the senseless orgy of consumerism for another year. And to kick it off, I'm very proud to announce that we've just commissioned our first, limited edition, beach towel. The "Greetings from Hawaii" Scott Morrison Beach Towel.
The Scott Morrison Beach Towel is a lasting reminder of exactly where the leader of our country went when we needed him most. Take it with you next time you go for a cruise on the Ruby Princess, drape yourself in it the next time you get happy-clappy at a Hillsong do. Or take it to the next Shark's home game and get pissed and eat meat-pies while one-third of the country remains under lockdown.
Made with high quality cotton loop, it's perfect for wrapping around your pants to hide brown stains while you visit Engadine Maccas. But most of all, it's the ultimate gift for anyone who enjoys lying on the beach in a distant country while Australia burns.
So buy one today. It's your patriotic duty. (And hurry -- we've only printed 50 of them, so they won't last).
NEW VIDEO ON MONDAY
We've got a sensationally good video coming out on Monday (assuming we can get it past the lawyers). So please keep an eye out for it on social media, or subscribe to our YouTube channel to see it the moment it drops.
THE CHASER DAILY
If Facebook bans the sharing of Australian news on its platform, The Chaser will be (bizarrely) included in the ban. That's why we've set up a Chaser Daily email list, so that you can receive all the latest Chaser news headlines from the past 24 hours, direct to your inbox, without going via Facebook. The email is automatically generated and sent out at 4pm (Melbourne time) each day. Sign up now.
THE SHOT
As you may know, we now have a sister publication, The Shot, which publishes stories that don't fit into The Chaser because they're actually true. It's been going off over there. Check it out.
Charles Firth
Managing Editor
The Chaser
P.S. If you haven't already, please consider subscribing to the website to support independent fake news (and initiatives like The Shot).
P.P.S. Sick of lockdown? Check out our latest book at ChaserShop.com. The Anti-Expert's Guide to Everything, which includes a tasteful guide to how to cure coronavirus without the pesky use of Western science.
A few other things...
PODCAST - New episode out today
 This week Nina wades into the latest TikTok controversy, Dom reveals whether gender reveal parties are a good idea, and Charles meets a $16,000 laundry-folding robot. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with the newsiest news that ever news knew. Stream it online on our website or at Nova or download it in any podcast app, including:
RADIO CHASER: THE NON-ESSENTIAL COLLECTION
 101 classic sketches from Radio Chaser. Stream it on Spotify or Apple Music. (Or search for "Radio Chaser".)
Or buy the album from The Chaser Shop for just $29.95, and we'll send you a special limited-edition, signed copy of the album.
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