Wanna buy some spare coal? We've got quite a bit of it.
Dear Reader,
This Christmas, were you thinking of getting your kids a PlayStation 5? Or perhaps an iPad? Or maybe one of those massive waterslides for the backyard that will leave them with lasting spinal injuries?
Instead, why not get them a metric fuck-ton of coal?
Right now, Australia has slightly more coal than we know what to do with. China has placed an embargo on Australian coal exports, so there a few hundred million dollars worth sitting of the coast of China, and we'll have about $14bn worth of spare coal lying around by the end of next year.
But that's great news for you, because coal makes the perfect Christmas present!
Coal is incredibly versatile. You can bring it into parliament. You can throw it around to impress your donors.
You can even use it as a football (a political football, that is), and everyone plays along for years and years and years and years and years. Just ask Joel Fitzgibbon!
So this Christmas do something for your country and gets some coal into you. Your kids will thank you for it — because otherwise we’ll burn it all and completely destroy what’s left of this planet.
Australian Coal. You might think it’s the coal industry's problem but actually it’s everyone’s problem now. Happy Christmas!
THE WAR ON 2020
The War on 2020 is a comedy series of 15 videos across 15 days.
>> WATCH THE VIDEOS NOW <<
We're planning to drop a video a day until Christmas. The easiest way to keep track is to go to The War on 2020 page on our website, where we will be posting all the videos as they're released. You can also find them on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.
Our thanks to Screen Australia, who provided the principal production funding, in association with Screen NSW.
NEW LIVE SHOW
 We've got an all new live show coming to the Adelaide Fringe next year: "The Anti-Expert's Guide to The Pandemic" - 19th February to 7th March. It's the perfect last minute Christmas gift - BUY TICKETS HERE.
Charles Firth
Managing Editor
The Chaser
GIFTS AT CHASER SHOP
Our long-awaited 2020 Toilet Paper has finally arrived, and you've basically got until Monday to buy it in time for Christmas. We're posting it out Express Post, and although we can't guarantee it'll arrive in time, we're sure Australia Post executives are going to give it a red-hot go (when they're not looking at their Rolexes).
Also -- The Chaser's Dom Knight has written The 2020 Dictionary and it's selling fast. Get it because it's already sold out in many bookstores.
There are tons of other great gifts (and several terrible ones) at ChaserShop.com too, including our popular Scott Morrison Beach Towel (now back in stock) and a new range of 2020 Christmas Cards.
Visit ChaserShop.com
THE SHOT
The Chaser now has a much more serious sister site, this week they've announced their 2020 Awards - The Clusterfuckys.
THE CHASER DAILY
You can now receive all the latest Chaser news headlines from the past 24 hours, direct to your inbox, without having to give all your data to Mark Zuckerberg. The email is automatically generated and sent out at 4pm (Melbourne time) each day just in time to miss all the most important updates. Sign up now.
SUPPORT THE CHASER
If you haven't already, please consider supporting The Chaser to support independent fake news (and series like The War on 2020). Your generous donations have so far covered almost two faberge eggs for our office, and 40 unpaid interns.
PODCAST - New episode out today
 This week, Charles flogs coal for Christmas, Dom tells his kid about Santa, and Zoe updates you on the latest up-the-minute hacks from Kmart. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with some less urgent, non-Kmart news updates. Stream it online on our website or at Nova or download it in any podcast app, including:
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