You are required to cooperate

Dear Reader,

Sorry if this email arrives to you a bit late. I've been busy blowing up 50,000 year old sacred sites. Don't worry -- it was done with the full backing of the government. Nothing dodgy or anything.

I'm writing to inform you about the government's new WorkChoices scheme. Sorry, I mean JobMaker scheme.

I admit, it's getting a bit confusing. We've already got JobSeeker and JobKeeper. And sure, there have been a few small calculation issues with those schemes, but let me assure you JobMaker is totally different in every way. Because that's the whole point about it.

JobMaker is about being different. It's about everyone putting down their weapons. I'll change. You'll change. Bosses will change. Unions will change. Workers will change. I won't break my promises anymore. This time, I'll be different. I promise.

I mean, when you're in a relationship with someone and they promise they'll change, that always works out, right?

JobMaker is about ushering in a new era of cooperation between workers and bosses. And to make extra sure everyone gets into this cooperative vibe, I'm pleased to announce legislation that will force workers to cooperate with whatever their bosses want.

Because cooperation is a two-way street. Your employer tells you what to do, and you tell them you'll do it.

Now I don't want to have to punish you for not cooperating (see how different I am?) but if you don't cooperate, I'm afraid you'll be punished. I'm pretty sure, in this recession - with all the other workers wanting your job - you'll very quickly learn the value of cooperating.

A TRIBUTE TO NON-ESSENTIAL WORKERS

Everyone's been talking about all the essential nurses, doctors, teachers and shop workers that have got us through this difficult period. Here in NSW, we've rewarded the hard work and bravery of nurses, teachers and other servants with a wage cut. Sorry, I mean wage 'freeze'.

But nobody has paid tribute to the non-essential workers, who've been sitting at home, not playing a vital role in sustaining us through this historic period.

That's why, this week, The Chaser launched its first album, and dedicated it to them, the non-essential workers. It's a great album. You can buy a special signed limited edition album (2 x CDs) of "Radio Chaser: The Non-Essential Collection" at ChaserShop.com.

(Or you can stream it on Spotify or Apple Music. Or search for "Radio Chaser".)

Charles Firth
Managing Editor

A few other things...
 

PODCAST - New episode out today

Dom talks terrible travel destinations that you're not allowed to go to now anyway, Andrew cringey celebrities in the time of Covid, and Charles brainstorms ways to force workers to cooperate using JobMaker. Plus, we pick up a sponsor -- the JobKeeper scheme, which had a spare $60 billion lying around.

The Chaser Report delivers all the news you can't trust. Stream it online on our website or at Nova or download it in any podcast app, including:

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