Announcing ChaserEats
Dear Reader,
As you've probably heard, the GameStop saga is quickly spiralling into a proto-revolutionary fervour that threatens to engulf the billionaire class. The hedge fund oligarchs have been shown for what they are, and, well, pretty much everyone is calling for their blood. When the revolution comes, the fund managers are literally going to be lined up against the Wall Street.
I've always found that in moments like these, when the rich and powerful are threatened by a massive angry, dispossessed mob with nothing to lose, it's important to stay on the right side of history. Put it this way -- if I were walking past a GameStop shop in the next few weeks, I wouldn't want to be wearing a Rolex watch. You know what I mean?
Luckily, American capitalism has a unique way of reinventing itself. The question for any company right now is: how do I make money out of all this? Our bet is that the best investments are going to be in a whole new suite of services that cater to the bloody-thirsty mob of angry poor people.
As a result, today we're announcing a brand new service called ChaserEats.
The idea is pretty simple. You simply download the app and select which billionaire you'd like to eat tonight, and we'll go out and catch them, cook them and deliver them to your door within 60 minutes. And best of all, instead of a standard "gig economy" job, all our delivery drivers get paid a decent wage with proper conditions (I know, it's a truly revolutionary idea!). This means you can enjoy eating your billionaire without having to worry whether you've done the wrong thing.
Download it now. This week we've got a special offer - order two billionaires, and we'll throw in a News Corp pundit absolutely free!
NEW LIVE SHOW
On a personal note, James Schloeffel ("The Shovel") and I are performing in an all-new live show coming to the Adelaide Fringe this year: The Anti-Expert's Guide to The Pandemic.
In it, we take you through the entire pandemic, and along the way look at the rise and fall of Donald Trump and the rise and rise of internet conspiracy theories, and then even dabble in the dark arts ourselves. Playing at Gluttony from 19th February to 7th March. BUY TICKETS HERE.
WAR ON 2020
The War on 2020 was a comedy series about the worst year ever 15 videos with principal financing from Screen Australia, in association with Screen NSW.
You can also find them on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.
Charles Firth
Managing Editor
The Chaser
SALE - 20% OFF EVERYTHING - EXTENDED UNTIL SUNDAY
We only have one sale per year, and it's this weekend. 20% off everything until midnight on Sunday 31st January. Hurry - it's a clearance sale so stock will run out. We've still got a few thousand rolls of Toilet Paper left. Also -- The Chaser's Dom Knight has written The 2020 Dictionary and it's selling fast. Plus we've even got a few beach towels left.
Visit ChaserShop.com
THE SHOT
The Chaser now has a much more serious sister site. This week Dave Milner is back with a look at everyone's favourite newspaper, The Australian. Check it out
THE CHASER DAILY
You can now receive all the latest Chaser news headlines from the past 24 hours, direct to your inbox, without having to give all your data to Mark Zuckerberg. The email is automatically generated and sent out at 4pm (Melbourne time) each day just in time to miss all the most important updates. Sign up now.
SUPPORT THE CHASER
If you haven't already, please consider supporting The Chaser to support independent fake news (and series like The War on 2020). Your generous donations have so far covered almost two faberge eggs for our office, and 40 unpaid interns.
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