We urgently need to outlaw people who are embarrassing

Dear Reader,

I think we can all agree that this nation is facing a crisis quite unlike any we've faced before. It's a tough road, and not everyone is coping very well. But if we all pull together, I'm sure we can make it out the other side.

I'm talking, of course, about the international embarrassment inflicted by one lone wolf Australian that has cast our country in a terrible light in the past week.

It is one thing for Australia to put up with a misogynistic, homophobic climate-denier who tells soldiers "shit happens" when one of their own is killed, and is then silent for 28 seconds when confronted about it. After all, we elected this gaffe-prone man, and are used to his errors. In fact, we've become almost immune to the errorist philosophy that seems to guide his entire life.

But when he travels to distant lands and starts spreading radical errorism overseas, Australia's standing in the global community is affected.

It is not good enough that he was able to evade the ban on international travel and fly halfway around the world to wreak bewilderment on our allies. We need to eliminate the embarrassment he spreads. At any cost.

During the week the Federal Government’s Citizenship Cessation Bill made another step towards becoming law. Under the proposed law, terrorists could be stripped of their citizenship of Australia, stripping them of their constitutional protections. It is a strong message that says "We don't want you here, and we're prepared to ignore your human rights to get rid of you."

The thing is, terrorists are not the problem. As the past week has shown, people who are embarrassing overseas pose a much greater threat to Australia than any terrorist.

We are urgently calling on the Government to amend the bill. Instead of being about terrorists, it should focus on stripping people who are embarrassing of their citizenship. We urgently need an Anti-Errorism bill. And the great thing is, drafting such a law would be really easy. It would only require a quick find and replace in the legislation to remove the "t" from "terrorist". Bingo.

Once it is law, the government will finally have the power to say to Tony Abbott, "Don't come back. We don't want you here."

Australia would no longer be at risk of having our leader threaten to shirt-front a nuclear-armed despot shortly before a global conference. We could disavow any association with someone who thinks the elderly should be left in nursing homes to die of coronavirus. But above all, our national stockpile of onions would be safe from being eaten without even being cooked first.
 

A few other things...

PODCAST - New episode out today

Can you believe it’s been 50 episodes already?! We celebrate by looking at the QAnon conspiracy with Nina, Tony Abbott’s guide to sacrificing old people to pandemics and Dom delivers a smattering of good news in an otherwise bleak and not at all celebratory episode. Plus, Chaser news headlines from Rebecca De Unamuno for the 50thish time. Stream it online on our website or at Nova or download it in any podcast app, including: