RELOVENSHIP: E-Newsletter No.5 March, 2016
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In this issue No.5, March 2016

Hello <<First Name>>,

The month of March brings along the optimistic promises of Spring, ones that are filled with revivals, new beginnings and new love! Spring is without question the season when many new romance blossom, when new lovers seem to step out of their own realities and when they literally fall head over heals for each other. Have you ever experienced anything like that? Well, our Relationship Coaches certainly have and they will give you an exclusive glimpse at what it looked like in the "A word from Mario & Diane" section.

But what happens after Spring is over? How do we handle our realities when it hit us back in full force? Can we stay passionately in love? And more importantly, how do we grow stronger as a couple when the storms come in? Because they WILL come in!!! Mario & Diane have gone through a lot of those in their 18 years together and they share their
"4 Fundamentals to avoid the “Fight or Flight” situations in your couple" in the "Coaching Advice" section.

Last but not least, to thank you for your loyal support, we are very glad to introduce an EXCLUSIVE FREE COACHING OFFER to all our eNewsletter subscribers! You will find all the details 
below. As always, we hope you will enjoy this month's issue.
A word from Mario & Diane

March is our month... Well, September too... However, we also love January, February... and all other months in between! Thing is, March was the "sparking" month for us and we were wed in September -although not the same year- so those two months are quite special to us. But let's go back to the sparks, because sparks there were... so let's hear it from our individual perspectives and experiences.

Mario: "I remember selling the idea to my boss that I "unexpectedly" had to travel to Toronto for a last minute important meeting with Team members... What I really wanted was to surprise Diane who happened to have a business meeting with her employer of the time in the same city. And surprised she was... During our "Spring Season" I wrote her love letters, like one a day for a month. Heck, I also wrote a love song! I sent messengers to her office with parcels identified as "PERSONAL & CONFIDENTIAL" since I did not want anybody but her to open them up... And like many new couples, we had our songs. So I used to leave her voice mails with one of our songs blasting in the background. It was crazy and wonderful."

Diane: "When he showed up unannounced in Toronto, that really sealed it for me. It still gives me goose bumps thinking about it. I also loved to jolt Mario with surprises all the time. I sent him flowers to his office regularly because he had once told me that he loved flowers but had never gotten any. So I sent him huge ones, not just your regular bouquets, to the extent that it became a running joke with his working colleagues:

"Ok guys, Cloutier just got another one today. He's showing off again!"

I too rearranged my working schedule multiple times whenever possible so we could travel together. I guess early on we both decided not to take each other for granted. So you'd see us inviting one another to a night out in the middle of the week and we'd stay home when most couples wouldn't." 

Thinking about all that, what strikes us is that we have continued to do many of those things through the 18 years that we've been together. But like any other couples, we too have had our trials and tests, many of which we talk in great details in our book. We often get questions like "How do you keep going strong? How do you overcome your differences?" The short answer to that is simply the love we have for each other. Nonetheless, we have also created a set of tools, a "protocol" to help us stay on course. Go now to the "Coaching Advice" section to discover 4 of our tools.

What People Are Saying

Below are some comments made by Media personalities on Mario & Diane's work. If you read their book, they would certainly appreciate your review on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Beyond book sales, reviews are authors' true legacy. 

"Mario & Diane,
It was our great pleasure having you "ON POINT!" Reading "RELOVENSHIP" speaks openly about the shortcomings of your lives and past relationships which gives the reader hope. RELOVENSHIP illustrates the Power in the prefix "RE," which means to do again, to Re generate and to Re Start... Though you may have experienced hurt in past relationships there is an opportunity to heal one’s self, through self-truth and the power of God!"

Carlette Christmas - On Point Talk Radio Host

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"I recently interviewed Diane and Mario on Radio MD. They offered great advice about love and relationships, and they were very fun to speak with. Love and relationship advice are always popular and this couple has plenty of great advice on keeping those relationships strong.

Melanie Cole MS

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"ReLovenship™ Look Within to Love Again! is an excellent book by Mario and Diane Cloutier which emphasises the importance of taking control of your thoughts and goals before seeking a potential partner. This book advocates the need to become reacquainted with oneself and learn to truly love oneself before seeking a partner. As a step by step guide, written from the male and female perspectives, the advice is refreshingly sound and direct and I had many views in common with the authors. I hope this book will inspire people to create a powerful intention of being happy, successful and finding the right partner."

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From Our Readers

“I found out about ReLovenship from a dear friend and I am SO glad I did. It is the type of self-help book that requires serious introspect. I recently went through a painful divorce. We still love each other very much, but the relationship was toxic. ReLovenship helped me answer the tough questions... I learned how to value myself, set my boundaries, and recognize my self-worth. I am so grateful for Diane and Mario's insight and would definitely recommend this book to others!” ─Nisha

“I had the extreme pleasure of meeting Mario and Diane at a book signing here in Florida. They are an absolute beautiful couple. They exude love. So here is my honest review of ReLovenship:
I deal with a lot of couples who come to me for relationship advice because they feel my husband and I have the "perfect" relationship. But nothing is perfect, especially not our relationship. I think God sent Mario and Diane to me, because I needed this book in my life.
I realized what was going wrong in our relationship. I was busy trying to figure out who I was and my husband was just there. I felt like he wasn't with me. I felt like he wasn't loving me the way I wanted. What ReLovenship has taught me is that I have find love for myself first. I’ve read the book and it has allowed me to work on myself. My husband isn't a reader, but he has it on the night stand as apart of his to be read list.
This book made me take a hard look at who I was and am. It made me think back figure out what my "stories" are and how my past affects my future. Chapter 4 made me take a hard look at my secrets. My husband and I had a heart to heart in therapy and I had to come clean of all the wrong I had done in our relationship. This book hands down help save my marriage. I plan on sharing it with all my friends whether they are single, dating, engaged or married. We all must focus on loving ourselves.”

“A true gem. I read Relovenship twice. As a professional matchmaker and dating coach I keep a copy in my office and highly recommend it to my clients. You can find love and with the right attitude and right tools you can succeed. Relovenship is definitely one of the right tools to help you in your quest for a fulfilling relationship.” Joan

"This book is ideal for everyone! It is not only a great book for anyone looking for love or trying to find their soul mate. It's also a wonderful book for understanding yourself prior to taking the next steps into a relationship. There are many chapters you will want to read twice and many pages you will want to highlight!" ── Robyn


Coaching Advice
4 Fundamentals to avoid the “Fight or Flight” situations in your couple

1- Have a Couple’s Vision
Couples with no compelling, aspirational and clear visions don’t tend to last.  Of course you and us know several “unions” that have gone on for decades without any such thing.  They’ve stuck (the verb seems appropriate here…) together in spite of passion, respect or love, for financial reasons, for the kids or something else… 
“Power Couples” all have a compelling, aspirational and clear vision of what they intend to aim for together.  That’s what makes them stronger, inspire them to move forward and guard them against futile arguments that can turn into unproductive fights. Once you crystallized your vision, it will serve many purposes, but the primary one will be to help you remember “why” you are together at the first place.

2- Taboo Talks
We all have taboos as individuals, stuff that we want to keep hidden under the rug for no one to see. Couples are no different, but when taboos remain unaddressed, they can turn any benign event into a big drama that could have been avoided in the first place.  What are the taboos in your relationship? Is it a former lover? The fact that you are financially “better off” than your partner? Is it your kids versus hers? Or an unsatisfying sex life? 
Whatever it is, unveil those taboos, talk about it and establish a satisfactory protocol between the two of you that will help you manage “potential dramas.” Such protocol could be as simple as saying “Hon, I think we are entering taboo territory here so let’s be cautious about what we are gonna say or do.” It could also be “You know what, this (fill in the blank) is totally off limits for me. I just want you to be sensitive about it because I am not ready to address it.”

3- Use a Conflicts Resolutions System
The verb “conflict” is often defined as “to come into collision.”  We’re sure you’ve been there in your couple. The thing is, it’s so easy to get irrational when conflict arises.  Our experience has been that real conflicts happen when an important decision, one that will ultimately affect the couple and/or the family, needs to be taken.  Just to name a few, it could be a career change, the purchase of a new home or the necessity to have an elderly parent move-in with the family. Well this may sound simplistic but we have learned to manage conflicts with scorecards. Yes scorecards! Allow us to share a personal example here.
We have bought two homes together. As it seems to always happen with a couple about to make such an important transaction, each time we both had slightly different visions for the whole thing. So we established a scoring system that helped us keep our emotions in check! We individually made a list of criterions that were important to us: size of the house, airport proximity, garage, swimming pool, price, type of community, lot size, age of the house, distance to golf course, municipal taxes, etc. We then reconciled our lists, agreed to put points next to each criterion and total them up. Each time we visited a house, we would score each of them individually and then share our score. We also established that if our scoring system totaled a maximum of 100 points, the “passing mark” for any house to be considered would have to be no less than 70 for BOTH OF US. That type of system has made wonders for us not only with our real estate transactions but also with any other major decisions where we wanted to leave our emotions aside.

4- Set your Couples’ Laws
Even successful couples quarrel from time to time. There is nothing damaging about it provided you have boundaries that will protect and not jeopardize your relationship. Think of them as “Couples’ Laws” that must be established ahead of time before any arguments arise. This prevents sentiments to blind you from the issue at hand. Examples of Couples’ Laws could be:

  • We will not interrupt each other when one’s giving his/her perspective.
  • It’s not about being right. It’s about getting to a common ground and resolve the problem.   
  • We will be respectful and weigh our words before unleashing them so we won’t regret saying them.
  • Sometimes we will agree to disagree. This may mean we will step back, take the time to reflect and snooze on it a little… 
About Us
Relationship Coaches, Authors and Huffington Post Bloggers, Mario P. Cloutier and Diane Sawaya Cloutier have each experienced real-life relationship sorrows of breakups and divorces before finally attracting the blissful relationship each of them were longing for. They became romantically involved in 1998 and married in 2001. Through their own experiences, learnings and ensuing search for "what makes relationships work," they have become trusted advisors for seekers of true love.

Their intention is to bring inspiration, hope and provide tools that demonstrate that all can still attract “the one,’’ the soul mate or the ideal life partner, in spite of how many heartbreaks one may have experienced, and moreover, that it is possible to "live happily... EVEN after!" 

In their book, Mario & Diane often tag-team, speaking from a common voice to share their point of view on general themes, but they also make a point to address readers of their own gender in each chapters on specific issues, proving that men and women may process relationships differently... but they ultimately want the same outcome!
Diane Sawaya Cloutier’s constant desire to learn has led her to develop a passion for personal development and relationships.

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Mario Patrick Cloutier is who many would refer to as a self-taught, street-smart individual with a voracious interest in business practices

ReLovenship™ Look Within to Love Again! 
will inspire you to get another shot at true love and finding your ideal life partner!

Also available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

For Speaking Requests or Booking Inquiries Contact Mario & Diane

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