Thanks to two goals from right winger Bryan Rust, the Pittsburgh Penguins defeated the Tampa Bay Lightning 2-1
to advance to the Stanley Cup Finals, where they'll face the San Jose Sharks.
The Penguins have used their tiny, flightless wings to hoist the Stanley Cup (not this Stanley Cup
; this Stanley Cup
) three times in franchise history, and did so as recently as the 2008-2009 season. Meanwhile, the Sharks are finally getting rid of that V-Card by making their first Finals appearance in franchise history. Don't feel bad, we think it's kinda cute.
Leading the Penguins is their perennial star Sidney "Cry Baby"
Crosby, but during the playoffs, the world's worst picture taker, Phil Kessel
, has been Emperor Penguin, leading his team in playoffs points (18) and goals (9). The Sharks have been playing swimmingly thanks to Joe Pavelski (13 goals, 22 points), Logan Couture (16 assists, 24 points), and Brent Burns (14 assists, 20 points), but more importantly, let's take a look at another horrible Phil Kessel photo
Memorize the five names above, and you can bullshit your way through any conversation at your local pub, which you should go to when watching these games because nothing pairs with the Stanley Cup better than beer or 12. The Penguins host the Sharks in Game 1 Monday at 8pm ET.