To the displeasure of Boston-area commuters, there will be road closures aplenty this morning for the 30,000 racers participating in the 120th running of the Boston Marathon
If you think just Kenyans and Ethiopians win these kinds of things, you're right
. Runners from either country have won the men's open 23 of the last 25 times, and the women's 17 of the last 19 races. With that said, it's time to pay tribute to America Meb Keflezighi, who won the race in 2014. We're still so damn proud of his win we'll barely mention the fact he was born in Eritrea, East Africa. USA! USA!
This is also the third anniversary of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. To spite those terrorist dickholes, several survivors who lost limbs in the attack will run the marathon today before embarking on a 3,000-mile, cross-country trip called "One World Strong Trek.
" The journey was organized by the survivors as a way to tell their stories and "personally thank all those who helped in the healing process." Awesome.
Why someone would willingly run 26.2 miles is lost on us. Nevertheless, we'll read up on the results to let you know if anyone's nipples bleed through their shirt
or someone suffers pants-shitting (literally