Bathroom Beer, No Bathroom, & Not A Klan Rally.
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Monday, October 24, 2016

Quick Hits From Over The Weekend
  • PSA. Think twice before you let friends order food for you at sporting events.
  • Why Are They Throwing It 53 Times? The LA Rams, with Case Keenum, threw the ball about 33 times too many, which resulted in 4 interceptions. Unsurprisingly, they lost to the New York Giants 17-10 in London.
  • One And Done. In his first game of the season as starting quarterback, Geno Smith injured his knee and was replaced by the guy he just replaced, Ryan Fitzpatrick, who lead his Jets to a win. It looks like the quarterback controversy nobody cares about continues in New York.
  • Tie. Even though former QB Donovan McNabb still probably doesn't think it can happen, Sunday Night Football between the Seattle Seahawks and Arizona Cardinals ended in a 6-6 tie, thanks to hideous, potential game-winning missed kicks by each of their kickers in OT. 
  • Quiz Time. We're thinking of a team sport that doesn't involve balls, sticks, or a baton. Say it with us, on the count of three. 1. 2. 3! Kabaddi! Nice job! We knew you'd get it. A rag-tag team of Americans learned the sport in two weeks, traveled to India for the World Cup, and lost horribly.
  • Upset Time. Penn State defeated #2 Ohio St. 24-21 during a white out, which involves their fans (who are mostly all white) dressing in all white. No, it's not what you're thinking.

The Main Event
It all comes down to this.

Much like the days before the white man drastically depleted both their numbers, the Indians and the Cubs will go to battle. Although it feels like neither team has won a World Series title since then, surprisingly, that's not the case. It's been a whopping 67 years since the Indians won the World Series, but that's a walk in the park compared to the cursed Chicago Cubs who have been in a drought for 40 years longer. That's right, it's been so long since they've won a World Series that they're practically born-again virgins.

If you're a good reader, you may have noticed we said, "the cursed Chicago Cubs," and we weren't kidding. Way back in the 1945 World Series against the Detroit Tigers, Billy Sianis, owner of Billy Goat Tavern, was asked to leave Game 4 of the series because his his Billy Goat named Murphy, who he of course brought to the game, smelled worse than Carson Palmer's hand. As Sianis departed the game, he cursed the team, yelling, "Them Cubs, they ain't gonna win no more." Up 2 games to 1, the Cubs would wind up losing the series, and haven't won one since. There have been multiple attempts to break the Cubs' curse, including a severed goat's head being sent to the team owner.

We're not sure which curse is worse, the Curse of the Billy Goat, or the curse of having to live in Cleveland.

Good Sport
Big Man, Big Game
Yes, it was preseason. Yes, it was against the Charlotte Hornets. But Minnesota Timberwolves center Karl-Anthony Towns is looking like he's already better than he was last year - and last year he wasn't too shabby, becoming just the the fifth unanimous NBA Rookie of the Year ever. The only thing he's missing before he becomes a household name is a guest role on a Disney show dressed as an old man. Wait a sec...

Bad Sport
Not Winning
For some stupid, no good reason (the team's going with "former franchise greats"), Charlie Sheen won't be reprising his role as Wild Thing to throw out the Cleveland Indians World Series opening pitch. Although it was against the Chicago White Sox, the Chicago Cubs should consider themselves lucky.

G.O.A.T. of the Weekend (What is G.O.A.T.?)
Michigan Alumnus. Hockey and University of Michigan legends Marty Turco, Brendan Morrison, and Mike Legg made Patrik Stefan feel like a friggin idiot, after they made some incredible hockey shots/catapults during the Score-O.

Honorable Mention: Jay Ajayi. The Miami Dolphin running back who's rushed for over 200 yards in back-to-back weeks.

Goat of the Weekend (What's a Goat?)
Bryant-Denny Stadium Facility Management. During Alabama's game against Texas A&M, fans were told over the PA system not to use the bathrooms. It's like facilities doesn't know what a stomach full of Yellowhammer and chili dogs means...

Quote of the Weekend
"Harambe RIP" - Jerick McKinnon's Cleats

The Minnesota Vikings love for fallen gorilla Harambe has been well documented, but McKinnon's custom cleats take it one step further.

What to Watch
NFL. Monday Night Football. Texans at Broncos – 8:15pm ET on ESPN
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