1,000+ Squat, Pick 'Em Winner, & A Bloody Finger.
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Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Quick Hits
  • A Fingerfall. Despite Cleveland Indians starting pitcher Trevor Bauer leaving the game after throwing only 21 pitches due to his finger gushing blood (10 stitches stemming from Drone accident), they were able to defeat the Toronto Blue Jays 4-2. They'll be looking to lock up their bid to the World Series in Game 4 today.
  • QB Troubles. The New York Jets looked more like a prop plane last night, mustering 3 points against the Arizona Cardinals and letting RB David Johnson rush for 111 yards along with three touchdowns. Jets QB Ryan Fitzpatrick was benched, and replacement Geno Smith promptly threw an interception in relief. Somebody get Joe "The Drunk Kiss Machine" Namath out of retirement.
  • Heavy Lifting. Powerlifter Roy Williams became the first human to squat over 1,000 pounds, and it looked easier for him than when we squat down to sit on the toilet.

The Main Event
WHAT?
Australian tennis douchebag Nick Kyrgios has been banned eight weeks and fined $25,000 for tanking a game during the Shanghai Rolex Masters, that is if you call this tanking. Or even this. And this- well, that's just a nice play on his part.

WHAT ELSE?
And just like that, the eight-week ban has been magically reduced. Kyrgios took the ATP (Association of Tennis Professionals) up on their offer to reduce the ban by five weeks if he agreed to see a sports psychologist.

This isn't the first time the friend of Mr. Steal Your Girl has made news for being a dickhead. Since we're short on time we'll be brief, but there was the time the hypocrite answered his phone on the court, then yelled at a fan for being on theirs, and he decided to smash not one (see photo above), not two, but three rackets.


THOUGHTS?
You can tell by Kyrgios' beautifully crafted apology that he's become a master of disaster, and getting people to not hate him.

NFL Pick 'Em
For the second time this season, Kaitlin Kan is the Good Old Sport Pick ‘Em champion, so she’s officially lapping most of you. It’s time for the rest of you to reflect and consider if our Pick ‘Em challenge is right for you. We hate to watch you embarrass yourself week-in and week-out, but if you’re up for another virtual pantsing, make your Week 7 picks below.

The best of the rest:

1.) Kaitlin Kan (12-3, 38*)
2.) Jesse Knaack (11-4, 55*)
3.) James Gladstone (11-4, 41*)
4.) Lindsay Mitchell (10-5, 35*)
5.) Patrick Malkowski (9-4, 35*)

*Total points estimate for Monday Night Football. Actual: 31

GET YOUR WEEK 7 PICKS IN NOW. Winner gets a set of Good Old Sport Koozies. Submission deadline is Thursday, 10/20 at 8:20pm ET.

Good Sport
Keepin' It Light
The Arizona Cardinals definitively have the most pre-game fun of any NFL team. Losers of pre-game drills have to run on the field and embarrass themselves, and star DB Patrick Peterson had to pay the piper last night, dressing up in an inflatable T. Rex costume. Past favorites include: the little hula girl, Raggedy Ann, towel man, undies and jacket man, and the cutoff shirt boy wonder.

Bad Sport
Dan Snyder Loves Company
An Ontario judge stopped an attempt to prevent the Cleveland Indians from using their team name and Chief Wahoo during Game 3 of the ALCS, which took place in Toronto. Somewhere, Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder is pleasuring himself to Chief Wahoo while watching Major League, because for once, someone else is being called a racist.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
MLB PLAYOFFS. Game 4: Indians at Blue Jays - 4pm on TBS; Game 3: Cubs at Dodgers - 8pm on FS1
SOCCER. Leicester City vs. Copenhagen - 2:30pm on ESPN2; Bayer Leverkusen vs. Tottenham - 2:30pm on FS1
NHL. Flyers at Blackhawks - 8:30pm on NBCSP
NBA PRESEASON. Clippers at Kings - 10pm on ESPN
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