Nitro Circus Reignites, Thrown Under The Bus, & Crikey!
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Thursday, June 16, 2016

Quick Hits
  • Crikey! Andrew Bogut, the Golden State Warriors' Australian 7-footer, will miss the rest of the NBA Finals with a bum knee. Bogut was injured in Game 5 after blocking a layup and tumbling back to earth with the force equivalent to that of a normal person falling from a 70-story building. Don't check our math on that one.
  • WAG. Atlanta Braves infielder Freddie Freeman, who’s married to one of the hottest WAGs (what's a WAG?) in sports, hit for the cycle in last night’s 9-8 win over the Cincinnati Reds. He's the first player to pull it off this year, and just the third Atlanta Brave to do it in the last 100 years. Here's another picture of his wife for good measure.
  • Observation. Hey, the New York Yankees are a rich, but shitty baseball team. They lost again yesterday (6-3 to the Rockies) and are now in last place in their division. Friendly reminder the Cleveland Indians (tied for first in the NL Central) have a 2016 payroll of $99,112,472, compared to the Yanks' $229,283,757.
  • Thrown Under The Bus. Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James threw Cavs center Kevin Love under the bus during a presser yesterday, saying, "we definitely need Kevin to play better." Get ready to watch Love attempt to remove his own mangled body from the wheel well of said bus in Game 6 tonight.
  • Threads Fit For A King. The NBA's Sacramento Kings unveiled their new uniforms, and they're way better than the team has been over the past decade.
  • Bro Games. The list of extreme athletes has been revealed for the inaugural Nitro World Games. Yes, it's brought to you by bro-king Travis Pastrana and the Nitro Circus crew that you used to watch cheat death on MTV. The games, which start July 16th, will feature FMX, BMX and skating events, although we were hoping it would include more mini-mustang fire jumps.

The Main Event
Today marks the start of the 116th U.S. Open, which is one of the four most prestigious tournaments in pro golf that make up the Major Championships (Masters Tournament, The Open Championship, and PGA Championship). This year’s Open will be played at Oakmont Country Club outside of Pittsburgh, so if you see fans stuffing their clubhouse sandwiches with French fries, you’ll know why.

Much like a putt-putt golf course, Oakmont is known for its over-the-top features that make it absurdly-difficult, and frustrating, to play on. It has impossibly complex bunkers (see the infamous “church pews” bunker), fringe grass thicker than a 1970’s shag rug, and slopes so steep some yutz caddie already broke his ankle when he fell down a bank during a practice round this week. Did we mention the course has a goddamn freeway running through the middle of it? The only thing missing to complete the putt-putt facade is a giant Paul Bunyan statue and oscillating pendulums over the holes.

American Dustin Johnson will look to avenge his devastating loss at the Open last year, where he looked like he was avoiding an invisible pendulum on the 18th hole when he three-putt from within 12 feet to give fellow Yank Jordan Spieth the 2015 title. Johnson and Spieth are among the favorites to take home the Open title this year. You can check out the full field, pairings, and schedule here.

The only thing we know for sure is that Phil Mickelson will come in second place. He’s been a runner up at the tournament an excruciating six times. Only the Buffalo Bills could begin to understand how painful it must be to come in second that many times.

Good Sport
Ichiro Passes The Hit Queen
Counting his time in Japan and MLB, Miami Marlins outfielder Ichiro Suzuki reached 4,257 career hits yesterday, passing Pete Rose's all-time record (4,256 hits). No one's unhappier than Rose, who was lightening-quick to squash any comparisons to his own record, saying, "I don’t think you’re going to find anybody with credibility say that Japanese baseball is equivalent to major-league baseball... they’re trying to make me the Hit Queen." We're not saying Japanese ball is better than MLB, but Japan did win two of the there World Baseball Classics played to date, while the U.S. finished fourth... once. With that said, show a little respect, Ms. Rose.

A Final Finals
Technicolor Dreamcoat enthusiast, and sideline reporter, Craig Sager will join ESPN's broadcast team for the Warriors/Cavaliers game tonight to cover the first NBA Finals game of his career. It's an inspirational gesture, as this will almost certainly be Sager's last chance to report on the Finals (he was diagnosed with terminal leukemia earlier this year).

Bad Sport
Throwing People Around
The Colorado Rockies are finally throwing shortstop José Reyes off the squad after he threw around his wife last October. The four-time All-Star was designated for assignment (pushed out of the 40-man roster), but is still owed almost $40 million in salary. That's a helluva severance check.

Good Old Caption
CAPTION THIS PHOTO of soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo standing next to an uncomfortably well-endowed statue of himself. Winner gets a pair of Good Old Sport koozies to stuff their underwear with.

Send your captions to

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NBA FINALS. Game 6: Warriors at Cavaliers - 9pm on ABC (Warriors lead 3-2)
SOCCER. UEFA Euro 2016: England vs. Wales - 8:30am on ESPN; UEFA Euro 2016: Ukraine vs. Northern Ireland - 11:30am on ESPN; UEFA Euro 2016: Germany vs. Poland - 2:30pm on ESPN; Copa America Centenario: U.S. vs. Ecuador - 9:30pm on Fox Sports 1
GOLF. U.S. Open, First-Round Play - 10am on Fox Sports 1 and 5pm on FOX; LPGA Tour: Meijer LPGA Classic, First-Round Play - 2:30pm on Golf Channel
VOLLEYBALL. U.S. vs. Argentina - 4pm on NBC Sports
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