Half-Pregnant, The Jazzman, & Eating Pizza Rolls. 
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Thursday, February 25, 2016

Quick Hits

The Main Event
WHAT?
The first round of the 2016 Honda Classic starts today, with many of the top golfers in the world looking to get a cut of the $6.1 million purse by the tournament's end this Sunday. Let's let the jazziest celebrity golfer of all-time get things going for us...

WHAT ELSE?
In advance of the pros hitting the links today, sexy saxophonist Kenny G led the Honda Classic celebrity Pro-Am tournament yesterday, and no, he didn't use his soprano sax as a putter. Kenny was joined by other celebrities including; Roger Clemens, Steve Spurrier, Mike Piazza, and several former Miami Dolphins players, before the tournament was cut short due to lightning.

Sparks will continue to fly on the course today as Rickie Fowler, Rory McIlroy, Phil Mickelson, and a field of nearly 150 other players set their sites on dethroning the defending tournament champion, Pádraig Harrington.

THOUGHTS?
Rickie Fowler, Rory McIlroy, and Adam Scott (not the goofy, giant-headed Parks and Rec actor) have been listed as the favorites to win the tournament. We have to give the edge to Fowler after he played 36 holes on Tuesday with former Chicago White Sox minor leaguer, and NBA player, Michael Jordan. Did you see MJ's golf game in Space Jam? Enough said.

Good Sport
THE 700 CLUB
Don't worry, we're not talking about that religious talk show led by Pat Robertson, the nutbag zealot who predicted the world would end in 1982. We're talking about the current king of tennis, Novak Djokovic. The World's No. 1 player claimed his 700th career win after beating Malek Jaziri at the Dubai Tennis Championships. Novak is the 12th player since 1968 to accomplish the feat, and just the third active player to have 700+ wins (Roger Federer: 1,067 / Rafael Nadal: 775)​.

Bad Sport
THE (WHITE) MAN SHOW
UFC commentator, and The Man Show alum (the shitty years), Joe Rogan is in hot water for some racist comments he made after the Kimbo Slice vs. Dada 5000 fight. During the fight, Dada 5000 looked lethargic before being KTFO, and almost died after the fight due to cardiac arrest. A few days later, Rogan said Dada 5000's heart stopped because it was "filled with fried chicken and orange soda." We get that Rogan was trying to make a point about Dada 5000's lack of conditioning, but for the love of god, choose any other food besides fried chicken when referring to a black athlete.

(Dis)Honorable Mention: St. Louis Blues forward Ryan Reaves has been suspended three games without pay by the NHL for going full bash brother on San Jose Sharks defenseman Matt Tennyson. Tennyson was knocked unconscious after Reaves slammed him into the boards.

Good Old Caption
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What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NBA. Thunder at Pelicans - 8pm on TNT; Rockets at Trail Blazers - 10:30pm on TNT
NHL. Predators at Blackhawks - 8pm on NBC Sports
COLLEGE BASKETBALL. Florida State at Duke - 7pm on ESPN; SMU at Memphis - 7pm on ESPN2; Providence at Seton Hall - 7pm on Fox Sports 1; Indiana at Illinois - 9pm on ESPN; UCLA at California - 9pm on ESPN2; St. John's at DePaul - 9pm on Fox Sports 1
SOCCER. UEFA Europa League: Liverpool vs. Augsburg - 1pm on Fox Sports 1; Manchester United vs. FC Midtjylland - 3pm on Fox Sports 1
GOLF. LPGA Tour: Honda LPGA Thailand, First-Round Play - 11am on Golf Channel; PGA Tour: Honda Classic, First-Round Play - 2pm on Golf Channel
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