Down For The Count, Bet On Black, & Wet Your Whistle.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Quick Hits
  • For The Birds. Our nation's capital proved to be no match for a group of flightless, Antarctic birds. The Pittsburgh Penguins eliminated the Washington Capitals 4-3 (OT) in a hard fought Game 6. The Pens advance to the Conference Finals to take on the Tampa Bay Lighting.
  • Shove Off. Much like in Game 2, Oklahoma City Thunder guard Dion Waiters inbounded the ball against San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobili with time winding down, except there wasn't a grade-school shoving match this time. Waiters passed the ball to Russell Westbrook, who scored the game-sealing basket to give the Thunder a 95-91 win and a 3-2 series lead.
  • Down For The Count. The UFC is selling out. Literally. At least if you believe ESPN. The MMA league is expected to sell for around $4 billion, and reportedly has at least four bidders. UFC president Dana White, however, seems to think the league isn't for sale. Meanwhile, Anderson Silva has wimped out of UFC 198 due to menstrual cramps, or as he insisted we refer to it - "abdominal pain."

The Main Event
WHAT?
Pencil in another record for Steph Curry, because for the very first time in NBA history, a unanimous MVP has been selected. We told you yesterday it was going to happen, and it did. So why are we bringing it up? Because former NBA player and current NBA "analyst" Tracy McGrady pulled a Skip Bayless (his latest boner) and said something stupid.

WHAT ELSE?
Old Man McGrady grumbled the only reason Curry won unanimously was because the league is watered down and "somebody like LeBron deserved to get at least one vote."

What the hell is he smoking (and can we have some)? Curry was the NBA scoring leader (30.1 per game), three-point field goals leader (402, also an NBA-record by a mile), free-throw percentage leader (.9075), and steals leader (2.14 per game). Let's not forget to mention he led his Warriors to the most wins ever in an NBA season (73), and dropped an NBA-record 17 overtime points in his first game back from injury during the Warriors' 132-125 OT win against the Trail Blazers.

THOUGHTS?
To say any MVP voter should have chosen a player not named Steph Curry is not only wrong, but really really stupid. Riley Curry's keeping an eye on you...

Good Sport
Bet On Black
The Oakland (for now) Raiders have expressed interest in moving to Las Vegas and Carolyn Goodman, Vegas' mayor, thinks it'll happen (but how no one asked her 'if she'd be on it' is beyond us). Las Vegas makes sense as a new home for the Raiders. Their fans love eccentric, Vegas-like costumes (Vegas/Raider Nation), don't know when to quit (Vegas/Raider Nation), and never let a little thing like pregnancy slow them down (Vegas/Raider Nation).

Bad Sport
Go Big Or Go Home
Kansas City Royals infield prospect Raul Mondesi has been suspended 50 games after testing positive for Performance Enhancing Drugs, but unfortunately this doesn't Mark the return to the most exciting era in baseball (looking at you Big Mac). It appears Mondesi took Subrox-C while on a trip to the Dominican Republic, and was unaware it contained Clenbuterol, a banned substance that "enhances our aerobic capacity and stimulates our nervous system, among other effects that are performance-enhancing." Since this was deemed an accident by the MLB and the MLBPA, Mondesi will be the first player caught taking a banned substance to remain eligible to play in this year's postseason. Our advice to Mondesi; keep hitting Subrox-C hard, because if Double Jeopardy has taught us anything, it's that you'll be A-OK.

Wet Your Whistle Wednesday
This week's selection is the perfect Cocktail of the Summer, but shit, we can't wait that long... looks like Spring will have to do. Presenting: The Gold Rush
Go outback to your beehive and harvest 3 tablespoons of honey, however you do that. Next, tend to your bee stings. Now that you're all patched up, boil 2 tablespoons of water. Mix the honey and boiling water in a bowl. Pour yourself 1 cup of bourbon, then drink half of it as your reward for standing up to those bee bullies. Take the remaining 1/2 cup (4 ounces) of bourbon and add that to the honey/hot water mixture. Walk over to your coveted lemon tree (watch out for thieves!) and grab two lemons. Juice 1 1/2 lemons (about 4 tablespoons) and add it to the mixing bowl. Stir it up, and shake with ice before serving... over ice. Bottoms up!

Editor's Note: This recipe will produce two drinks, not because you shouldn't drink alone (you should), but because this drink is so damn good you'll want a second.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NBA PLAYOFFS. Game 5: Heat at Raptors - 8pm on TNT (series tied 2-2); Game 5: Trail Blazers at Warriors - 10:30pm on TNT (Warriors lead 3-1)
NHL PLAYOFFS. Game 7: Blues at Stars - 8pm on NBC Sports
SOCCER. Premier League: Sunderland vs. Everton - 2:40pm on NBC Sports
MLB. Royals at Yankees - 7pm on ESPN
INVICTUS GAMES. Day 3 Action - 7pm on ESPN2
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