Glass Half Empty, Cuba's Got Talent, & Miracle On Ice II.
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Thursday, March 3, 2016

Quick Hits

The Main Event
Just when you thought "Deflategate" was over...

If you recall, the NFL slapped a four-game suspension on New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady for purportedly deflating game balls before the 2014 AFC Championship game. On the plus side, the scandal spawned a never-ending parade of internet memes, and a hilarious press conference where Tom Brady went into detail on how he didn't want anyone touching or rubbing his balls. On the negative side, a lengthy, and boring, legal battle ensued when Tom Brady took the NFL to court, where a judge told the NFL to shove that suspension up their ass, because they didn't have enough evidence to impose such a punishment.

Today, the case is headed back to court as the NFL appeals the aforementioned judge's decision to toss the suspension. If the NFL is able to prove their punishment for Brady was unlawfully tossed, Brady may again be subjected to a four-game suspension, although it may take months for a final decision in the case to be reached.

At this point, we don't really care if he's guilty or not, we're just ready for "Deflategate" to be over. Like Leo DiCaprio's long journey for an Oscar, we had a great time making fun of it with memes along the way, but we'll be happy to see this source for internet fodder come to an end.

Good Sport
Give Him A Hand
Current Los Angeles Clippers forward, and University of Oklahoma alum, Blake Griffin had his No. 23 jersey retired by his alma mater. Griffin spoke to the home crowd while his jersey was raised into the rafters, saying, "I’m a little bit overwhelmed with emotion and incredibly honored to be up there.” Unfortunately, Griffin couldn't wave to the crowd because he broke his hand punching a member of the Clippers' equipment staff. Griffin... an Oklahoma legend worthy of basketball immortality.

Roll To The White House
The Alabama Crimson Tide football team visited President Obama at The White House yesterday to celebrate their national championship victory over Clemson. Naturally, Obama couldn't keep himself from telling the ultimate dad joke, exclaiming, "Call me O'Bama!" Now let's all perform a collective mega facepalm.

Bad Sport
Ice Cream Depression
Alpine ski racer Lindsey Vonn, who is currently leading the World Cup standings, announced yesterday that she will be sidelined for the rest of the season after fracturing her kneecap in a super-G event last week. We're just praying Vonn doesn't slip into a Ben and Jerry's-type depression that will surely decimate the body she sculpted for skiing and, more importantly, Sports Illustrated's latest Swimsuit Edition.

Good Old Caption
CAPTION THIS PHOTO of a shockingly romantic moment on the basketball court. This week's winner gets one of our brand-spankin' new baseball tees.

Send your captions to

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NBA. Spurs at Pelicans - 8pm on TNT; Thunder at Warriors - 10:30pm on TNT
COLLEGE BASKETBALL. Illinois at Maryland - 7pm on ESPN; Georgia at South Carolina - 7pm on ESPN2; California at Arizona - 9pm on ESPN; Connecticut at SMU - 9pm on ESPN2; Stanford at Arizona State - 11pm on Fox Sports 1
SOCCER. SheBelieves Cup: U.S. vs. England - 7:30pm on Fox Sports 1
GOLF. PGA Tour: WGC Cadillac Championship, First-Round Play - 1pm on Golf Channel; LPGA Tour Golf: HSBC Champions, Second-Round Play - 12am on Golf Channel
CONAN. "The Notorious" Conor McGregor stops by to give TBS' Standards and Practices team a fit - 11pm on TBS
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