The playoffs have started for Major League Soccer, our 19th-favorite American sports league, and you don't know shit about it. Let's fix that.
The MLS playoffs feature 12 teams, which seems a bit excessive considering there's only 20 teams in the league, and begins with a single-elimination Knockout Round, which wrapped up last night
. The winners of the Knockout Round matches (LA Galaxy, Toronto FC, Seattle Sounders, Montreal Impact) will go on to face the higher-seeded playoff teams in the Conference Semifinals, which begin on Sunday, and feature a two-game series, aggregate-goal format. Asleep yet? Good. Skip to the next section if you're done learning about all this soccer garbage. For the rest of you, the Conference Semifinal winners move on to another aggregate, two-game series (Conference Championships) before the top two squads play in the 2016 MLS Cup on December 10th.
So who the hell is going to win? Well, the Portland Timbers took it all last year, but they may find it hard to repeat considering they wet the bed by failing to make the playoffs. As for teams that took the 2016 season seriously, the New York Red Bulls (nice name, sellouts
) have been named early favorites
You know what the worst thing about doing stories on the MLS is? Major League Soccer doesn't own MLS.com. Without fail, we type in "MLS.com" to our browser every time we need info on this shitstain league, and every time we're furious when we're met with some dull-ass real estate website
. What the hell kind of league doesn't own the domain for the acronym of their league? Pony up and buy the goddamn rights so we can be redirected to your dumpy website instead of making us add to the clichéd definition of insanity
by typing in MLS.com for the 50th time and expecting it to be Major League Soccer.