Granny's In The House, Tweedle Rex and Tweedle Rob, & Break A Leg!
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Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Quick Hits

The Main Event
Twitter security is important, and Samir Nasri (who may be hiding a conehead under that hat), the Sevilla FC midfielder, learned that first hand.

After not bothering to put on shoes during a visit from the very pretty Drip Doctors, a mobile IV drip company, Nasri took to Twitter to brag about how much he enjoyed their sexual services that "dont [sic] come on their menu." For a company who bragged about helping "keep him hydrated," it sounds strange that they were in fact relieving Nasri of liquids. Or were they?

As it unsurprisingly turns out, this entire Twitter rant was classic crazy ex-girlfriend material, even ending with, "Sorry that I'm a terrible person and human being who has no loyalty to anyone including my family or girlfriend of 4 years. Happy new year."

Sports teams beware, you are not exempt from being hacked.

Good Sport
Ball So Hard
LaMelo Ball, the younger brother of UCLA guard Lonzo Ball, can play with the big boys. The high school freshman guard called, then backed up a half court shot during a game. We're not sure if the team's coach should be pissed at that shot selection, or thrilled that he has the next Steph Curry on his team. At least, he didn't go all Swaggy P after making it.

Bad Sport
Selfish Play
Typical Jeffrey Wilson. The North Texas running back was so desperate for attention during the Zaxby's Heart of Dallas Bowl, he barfed up on the field. That selfish play distracted quarterback Alec Morris, who mishandled the snap. Luckily, the team scored two plays later. North Texas, a team that clearly stole one of the many Oregon Ducks helmet designs, would eventually lose in overtime to Army 38-31.

NFL Pick 'Em
Kudos to Bob Fahey for shitting the bed this week. His 6-10 record was the worst of the bunch. Bob, we hope you had a nice Christmas to help outweigh this ghastly performance. Below are the winners, if you’re into that kinda thing.

1. Tanner Zelman (11-5; 48*)
2. Hunter "Why Can't the 1 Win on Monday Night" Eitel (11-5; 44*)
3. Kirsten Wenker (10-6; 54*)
4. Amanda Schat (10-6; 53*)
T-5. Tom Akkala (10-6; 49*)
T-5. Wes P (10-6; 49*)

*Total points estimate for Monday Night Football. Actual: 63

GET YOUR WEEK 17 PICKS IN NOW. Winner gets a Good Old Sport Koozie. Submission deadline is Sunday, 1/1/17 at 12:59pm ET.

Wet Your Whistle Wednesday
New Years is nearly here, which means one thing: champagne! If you're like us and are looking for ways to spice up the traditional glass of bubbly, then pay close attention, because we got ya covered.
It's no secret we're fans of the Moscow Mule, so when we learned about a champagne version, we knew what was eventually going to lead to our our New Year's blackout. To make this lovely drink, mix 1 ounce vodka (because it's important to welcome 2017 correctly), ¼ ounce ginger liquor, and ½ ounce fresh lime juice into the bottom of a champagne flute. Fill the remaining glass space with the bubbly, toss in mint leafs and a lime, then say goodbye to the awful year that was 2016.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NCAA FOOTBALL. Pinstripe Bowl: Pittsburgh vs. Northwestern - 2pm on ESPN; Russell Athletic Bowl: West Virginia vs. Miami - 5:30pm on ESPN; Foster Farm Bowl: Indiana vs. Utah - 8:30pm on FOX; Texas Bowl: Texas A&M vs. Kansas State - 9pm on ESPN
NCAA BASKETBALL. Houston at Connecticut - 3pm on ESPN2; Wake Forest at Florida State - 5pm on ESPN2; DePaul at Villanova - 6:30pm on FS1; Virginia at Louisville - 7pm on ESPN2; Monmouth at North Carolina - 7pm on ESPNU; Georgetown at Marquette - 8:30pm on FS1; UCLA at Oregon - 9pm on ESPN2; Cincinnati at Temple - 9pm on ESPNU; UNLV at Colorado State - 11pm on ESPNU
SOCCER. Southampton vs. Tottenham - 2:40pm on NBCSN
NCAA WOMENS BASKETBALL. Vanderbilt at Memphis - 5pm on ESPNU
NHL. Flyers at Blues - 8pm on NBCSN
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