The International Olympic Committee announced that five new sports will be added to the Olympic Games
, probably because, as previously mentioned, people don't give a shit about the Olympics anymore and the IOC needs to spice things up a bit.
Baseball/Softball, Karate, Skateboarding, Sports Climbing, and Surfing have all been added to the docket for the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo in an effort to reach younger viewers. Admitting that current Olympic events are boring as all hell, in so many words, IOC President Thomas Bach said, “We want to take sport to the youth. With the many options that young people have, we cannot expect any more that they will come automatically to us. We have to go to them." That's fine, but where the hell was this push 15 years ago when people still gave a shit about skateboarding? You know, when the sport's only household name
was still relevant. Although, we'd definitely watch Olympic skateboarding if classic Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
secret characters like Officer Dick
and Darth Maul
make an appearance.
Don't get too comfortable, Sk8er Bois
, because, like the other newly-added sports, skateboarding has only been added to the 2020 Games, with a re-evaluation of its status as an Olympic sport to be conducted after the Tokyo Olympics.
We can't wait for the American baseball squad to crash and burn on a global stage, as they're prone to do
, but still call themselves "world champions" when winning MLB's domestic World Series without any sense of irony.