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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Quick Hits

The Main Event
NBA Media Day 2016-2017 is in the books, and as per usual, it means two things: basketball is almost here, and we have a brand new batch of horrifying photos to make fun of for the rest of the year.

Good news if your football team's already shit the bed, we've now reached a date where it's fully acceptable to focus on the upcoming NBA season. On the heels of NBA Media Day, the Golden State Warriors and the Raptors will open the 2016 preseason this Saturday in Toronto. Check out when your team hits the court here.

Now, back to Media Day. We've done the leg work and selected the most heinous of all the images for our first annual Good Old Sport NBA Media Day "Awards." Enjoy!

Worst Pose: Tony Allen and his mean-muggin' flex, Memphis Grizzlies
Whitest Photo: Nik Stauskas and TJ McConnell, Philadelphia 76ers
Worst Use of Props: Karl-Anthony Towns, Minnesota Timberwolves construction worker?
Worst Hair: Derrick "Tarantula Head" Williams, Miami Heat
Worst Rap Video-style photo sesh: Carmelo Anthony & Derrick Rose, New York Knicks. So much finger wagging
Worst Kiss: Serge Ibaka and a plastic flamingo, Orlando Magic
Worst Mustaches: Steven Adams and Enes Kanter, OKC Thunder
Worst Theme: Thaddeus Young and Myles Turner, Dr. Seuss, Indiana Pacers
Worst Costume: Sam Dekker, Popeye, Houston Rockets

Basketball not your thing? The NHL preseason is also underway, albeit with markedly fewer hilarious media photos.

Good Sport
Saturday's Clemson (5) vs Louisville (3) contest is easily the biggest college football game of the year so far, and might be the best one we see until the College Football Playoff at the end of the year. Even better, it may devolve into a WWE match. Louisville QB Lamar Jackson has been making fools of opposing defenders all season with sky-high hurdles, but Clemson safety Jadar Johnson says that shit's coming to an end. Johnson said if Jackson tries to hurdle him he'll "body slam him." We can't wait.

Honorable Mention: Get ready for your annoying Boston sports fan friend to be an even bigger pain in the ass than usual, because the Red Sox may win the goddamn World Series. The Sox have won 11 of their last 12 games, own the best record in the AL, and have already clinched a playoff spot. It could be a wicked long offseason if we have to listen to Sully and Denise gloat about a title.

Bad Sport
Klan Headquarters
It's already hard enough when you're cursed with a shitty franchise in your home town, but it must be even tougher to root for them when the team president despises the city they play in. Milwaukee Bucks head honcho Peter Feigin called Milwaukee "the most segregated, racist place I’ve ever experienced in my life." Ya, that's really gonna sway parents to bring their kids to Klan meetings home games at The Bradley Center. At least star Giannis Antetokounmpo, fresh off his $100 million contract, has great knock knock jokes to ease the tension:

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Obama who?"
(singing) "Oh ba my seeeelf"

Enjoy your squad and apparent racist hell-hole of a city, Milwaukee.

(Dis)Honorable Mention: Sam Allardyce lasted with the English National Soccer Team about as long as you'd last with Mila Kunis (obligatory smokin' hot Mila Kunis pic). Allardyce has resigned after managing just one match with the team.

Wet Your Whistle Wednesday
Wouldn’t you know it; today is “National Drink Beer Day.” With that considered, help us celebrate Wednesday night like a Friday night by diving into way too many bottles of our booze selection of the week: Sierra Nevada Oktoberfest.
So it’s Oktoberfest in Munich, and you’ve once again broken the promise to yourself that attending Germany’s world famous beer festival would be off your bucket list by now. Don’t worry, you’ll go next year (fart noise). The good news is that no one can stop you from having your own Oktoberfest at home! Grab a few sixers of Sierra Nevada Oktoberfest, which is our favorite of the widely-available Oktoberfest beers we’ve tried, a pack of frozen soft pretzels, a jar of pickle spears, and a lederhosen t-shirt (complete with chest hair) off Amazon to complete the experience. Who knows, if you drink enough beer you may successfully transform into a “beer corpse” and recreate the smell of urine and vomit that permeates Oktoberfest in your very own living room! Never been to Oktoberfest? The future carpet cleaning bill from your landlord says otherwise. You’re welcome.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
MLB. Indians at Tigers - 4pm on ESPN; Rockies at Giants - 7pm on ESPN2
SOCCER. UEFA Champions League: Atlético Madrid vs. Bayern Munich - 11:30am on ESPN2; UEFA Champions League: Borussia Mönchengladbach vs. Barcelona - 11:30am on Fox Sports 1; MLS: Toronto FC vs. Orlando City SC - 4:30pm on Fox Sports 1
GOLF. LPGA Tour: Reignwood LPGA Classic, First-Round Play - 10pm on Golf Channel
WNBA PLAYOFFS. Game 1: Phoenix at Minnesota - 5pm on ESPN2; Game 1: Chicago at Los Angeles - 7pm on ESPN2
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