Bobby Brown's Discography, Invisible Friends, & Designated Drivers.
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Thursday, June 21, 2016

Quick Hits
  • South Of The Border. The NBA announced two regular season games will be played in Mexico City this season, Phoenix Suns vs. Dallas Mavericks (Jan. 12), and Phoenix Suns vs. San Antonio Spurs (Jan. 14). Hopefully the teams' equipment staffs remember not to fill the players' water bottles with tap water, or Montezuma's Revenge will have them shitting out their intestines by halftime.
  • And The Verdict Is? Russian Olympic officials expect a final decision on Sunday regarding a potential ban on all Russian athletes at the 2016 Rio Games. So far, 14 anti-doping agencies have called for the IOC to ban Russia from Rio. When the decision is reached, we're hoping the Russians will be as disappointed as white people were when the OJ Simpson verdict was read.
  • Olympics >Tour de France. Cyclists Mark Cavendish and Rohan Dennis have pulled out of the Tour de France to focus on the Olympics, giving them the "I totally would have won the Tour de France had I kept racing" card to use when needed. Cavendish had actually done well, winning four stages to this point.
  • No, That's A Bad Jeremy. NBA point guard Jeremy Lin, master of atrocious haircuts, has outdone himself with this cornrow abomination he rocked at an introductory press conference for his new team, the Brooklyn Nets. At least his 'do will distract Nets fans from his mediocre play.
  • Die Doing What You Love. Professional skier Matilda Rapaport was killed in an avalanche while filming footage for Ubisoft's upcoming video game, Steep, an open-world extreme sports game. Matilda Rapaport, 1986-2016.

The Main Event
Let's talk about a new survey on traumatic brain injuries in sports, how screwed the future of football is, and how the NFL is reacting to it.

A poll by the UMass Lowell Center for Public Opinion, surveying 1,000 American adults about their thoughts on sports-related brain injuries, was released yesterday. The findings, to put it bluntly, show that people think contact sports f*ck people up. Four out of five people surveyed said they oppose tackle football for kids under 14. Concussion Legacy Foundation president Chris Nowinski piled on, saying the survey results "show that nearly all adults agree that forcing a child to play a game where they are hit in the head a few hundred times a year is not an appropriate activity." Concussions have been a concern in football for years, but this hard data shows the issue has reached a tipping point, with 72% of poll participants believing football should "not be allowed" at all for children. Assuming many of these participants are parents that are willing to keep their children from playing football, it's fair to wonder what the pro football landscape will look like in 10 years when these kids grow up.

Coincidentally, the NFL announced the "retirement" of the league's medical adviser, Dr. Elliot Pellman, yesterday. Truthfully, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is forcing Pellman out because he's an incompetent piece of shit that denied the connection between football and CTE for years as lead of the NFL's Mild Traumatic Brain Injury committee. It looks like the NFL's finally ready to (attempt to) save some face.

The league's separation form Pellman, and recent admission that a link between CTE and football exists, is a step in the right direction for Goodell, but he still has a long way to go to clean up his reputation. Not to worry, Goodell has hired Joe Lockhart, who "once successfully helped steer Bill Clinton through impeachment," to be the NFL's top PR official. If Lockhart can help America forget about Slick Willie getting blown nine times by Monica Lewinsky, we're sure he'll work wonders for Goodell.

Good Sport
What Are Friends For
Dale Earnhardt Jr. is recovering from a concussion, so his buddy, former NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon, will come out of retirement to drive Jr.'s ride at the next two Sprint Cup Series events (Indianapolis Motor Speedway and Pocono Raceway). Given Gordon's previous success at both of these raceways (all-time wins leader at Indy with five, and Pocono with six), we think Jr.'s car is in good hands. Besides, our friends managed to drive our cars just fine in college when we were too "injured" to do so ourselves. Designated driver friends are the best friends.

Bad Sport
The Ray Rice Treatment
Ohio State running back Bri'onte Dunn was dismissed from the team because he hit his girlfriend really bad, as is evident by his girlfriend's frantic call to 911, where she said of Dunn, "my boyfriend hit me really bad." Dunn, who likely owns Bobby Brown's full discography, punched his girlfriend in the face and choked her, which left her bleeding with a black eye. Here's hoping Dunn gets blackballed from joining any other football team, AKA; the Ray Rice treatment.

Somewhat Related: Baylor defensive end, and human meme, Shawn Oakman was indicted for sexual assault, which is strange because he's usually the one who says "no."

(Dis)Honorable Mention: Norwegian cross-country skier Martin Johnsrud Sundby was stripped of his 2015 overall World Cup and Tour de Ski titles, and will be suspended for two months, because of a doping infraction caused by an illegal asthma medicine. Sundby claims the positive test was the result of a mix up with his regular medicine. Our advice: find a new pharmacist.

Somewhat Related: MMA fighter Chad Mendes received a two-year suspension from the UFC for doping. Unlike Sundby, Mendes appears to have doped on purpose.

Good Old Caption
CAPTION THIS GIF of the LA Angels being big jerks to outfielder Ji-man Choi after he slapped his first career dinger. Winner gets a Good Old Sport baseball tee, which we promise is more real than Choi's imaginary dugout friends.

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What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
GOLF. Senior Open Championship, First-Round Play - 10am on Golf Channel; LPGA Tour: International Crown, First-Round Play - 12pm on Golf Channel; PGA Tour: RBC Canadian Open, First-Round Play - 4pm on Golf Channel; Utah Championship, First-Round Play - 7pm on Golf Channel
BOXING. Premier Champions: Sergiy Derevyanchenko vs. Sam Soliman - 8pm on ESPN
BASKETBALL. TBT Tournament: Boeheim's Army vs. The Untouchables - 7pm on ESPN2
CYCLING. Tour de France: Stage 18 - 8am on NBC Sports
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