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Monday, September 19, 2016

Quick Hits From Over The Weekend

The Main Event
Penn St. honored the late Joe Paterno during Saturday's 34-27 win over Temple.

For those unfamiliar with the tainted legacy of Penn St.'s 46-year coach, JoPa covered up child molesting habits of one of his assistants, Jerry Sandusky (no, not Gerry Sandusky) dating all the way back to 1976. 1976! Sandusky continued coaching at Penn St. until 2011, during which he had several more illegal sexual encounters with young boys. Sandusky was convicted to 30 to 60 years in prison.

With all that information public, it's surprising that Penn St. decided to honor the man, and so many Penn St. fans and players still support him. Former Penn St. player Franco Harris must have taken too many hits to the head during his playing days, because he thinks, "an apology is in order," to all the former players and Penn St. fans for removing Paterno's bronze statue back in 2012. That's gotta be one of the stupidest things we've heard in quite some time, and we've read through Trump's Twitter.

We agree with the school's own paper, which sums it up in the most politically correct way possible: "Penn State needs a reality check."

Good Sport
The Young Guns
Team North America (comprised of players from Canada and the U.S. who are 23 and younger) beat Finland 4-1 in their first World Cup of Hockey match. Their big brothers, Team U.S.A. and Team Canada, go head to head on Tuesday, as Team U.S.A. is looking for their first win (after being used as a mop by Team Europe), while the maple syrup lovers are trying to stay unbeaten (6-0 dick-kicking over Czech Republic).

Bad Sport
F Cancer
The Baltimore Ravens lost the longest tenured member of their coaching staff Friday night, as defensive line coach Clarence Brooks passed away at the age of 65 after his battle with stomach and esophageal cancer. The team dedicated their 25-20 win over Cleveland to the late coach.

G.O.A.T. of the Weekend (What is G.O.A.T.?)
Lamar Jackson. Stay on your knees and continue sucking the Louisville quarterback's dick. The Heisman Trophy favorite continued his ridiculously impressive season by racking up 362 total yards and scoring five touchdowns on his way to leading his #10 Cardinals past #2 Florida St. 63-20. The icing on the cake had to be receiving a flattering, non-dog fight related compliment from Michael Vick.

Goat of the Weekend (What's a Goat?)
South Carolina St. The team from a conference you've never heard of played, and lost horribly to Clemson, the loser of last year's National Championship game. Hope of an upset diminished when, down 14-0, SC St. wide reciever Ahmaad Harris fielded a kickoff in the end zone and tossed it to the ref without taking a knee. Clemson jumped on the ball and scored a TD. After being down by 45-points at the half, both coaches agrees to shorten the normal 15-minute quarters to 12. Clemson would end up winning 59-0.

Quote of the Weekend
"If the team asks me to pick up the trash, that’s what I’m going to do. They’re the ones signing my paycheck.” - Josh Norman

Following the Washington Redskins' 0-2 start, their prized cornerback let the world know he's OK doing anything his employers tell him to, which makes us think he'd be a great intern for this guy.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NFL. Eagles at Bears - 8:15pm on ESPN
World Cup of Hockey. Team Europe vs. Czech Republic - 3pm on ESPN2; Russia vs. Team North America - 8pm on ESPN2
MLB Baseball. Diamondbacks at Padres - 10pm on FS1
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