Coal For Christmas, The Beard Guru, & The B's Knee.
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Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Quick Hits
  • The B's Knee. LA Clippers star Blake Griffin will undergo surgery on his right knee and is expected to miss 3-6 weeks, which means the Clippers will receive the gift of losing this Christmas because Griffin had been leading the squad with 21.9 points per game.
  • Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. Sorry, ladies, but Washington Nationals heartthrob Bryce Harper is off the market, having married his longtime girlfriend (former BYU soccer player Kayla Varner) at a Mormon Temple in San Diego. You may have lost out on his upcoming $400 million payday, but at least you get to avoid ridiculous Sunday sermons about Joseph Smith.
  • Another One Bites The Dust? Former NFL head coaches Jeff Fisher (LA Rams) and Gus Bradley (Jacksonville Jaguars) have already been shitcanned. Now, it appears Buffalo Bills coach Rex Ryan is next on the chopping block. The good news is Bills fans will continue to be too drunk to notice or care.
  • Monday Night Fisting. The Washington Redskins' playoff hopes took a blow last night via a 26-15 loss to the Carolina Panthers, probably because 'Skins tight end Jordan Reed thought football games are won by punching people in the head, which of course got him ejected.

The Main Event
WHAT?
To Bowl or not to bowl? That is the question.

WHAT ELSE?
LSU's Leonard Fournette and Stanford's Christian McCaffrey will both skip their respective college football bowl games to prepare for the 2017 NFL Draft. The reasoning is to avoid a late injury that would affect their draft stock, which is understandable considering both players dealt with health issues this season. The concern with high-profile players like Fournette and McCaffrey (who were both Heisman Trophy finalists at one time) skipping games is the trickle-down effect it will have on other players. If skipping late-season games becomes widespread practice for NFL-caliber college players, the quality of these games will undoubtedly suffer. On the other hand, it'd be terrible to see a player's lifetime of hard work go up in smoke just months before he's able to enjoy the fruits of his labor. It'd be like every cop show or movie ever where some poor bastard gets wasted two days before retirement. Mendoza!!

THOUGHTS?
Fortunately, Fornette's LSU Tigers are playing in the Citrus Bowl, while McCaffrey's Stanford Cardinal are playing in the Sun Bowl, two "who gives a shit" bowl games. But what happens when projected first-round NFL Draft picks start skipping bowl games we actually do give a shit about, like any of the College Football Playoff contests or the National Championship? Will it still be seen as a savvy business move? Or a selfish money grab from a player who's more concerned about himself than his teammates and his program's national title aspirations. Time will tell.

NFL Pick 'Em
Shoutout to Byron David for being damn near close to perfect, recording an impressive 15-1. Everyone else, try to be a bit more like Byron. Almost perfect, but not obnoxiously perfect.

The best of the rest include:

1. Byron David (15-1; 35*)
2. John Bianco (14-2; 55*)
3. Evan Perez (14-2; 16*)
T-4. Mary Moore (13-3; 42*)
T-4. Lonnie Weiss (13-3; 42*)

*Total points estimate for Monday Night Football. Actual: 41

GET YOUR WEEK 16 PICKS IN NOW. Winner gets a Good Old Sport Koozie. Submission deadline is Thursday, 12/22 at 8:25pm ET.

Good Sport
Fear The Beard
The Houston Rockets have won 10-straight games thanks to point guard James Harden, who set a franchise triple-double record while being named Western Conference Player of the Week. It had to have been his visit from The Beard Guru that's made all the difference.

Honorable Mention: John Tortorella, head coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets, guided his squad to their ninth-straight win with a 4-3 OT victory over the Vancouver Canucks, which also happened to be his 500th career win as an NHL head coach.

Bad Sport
Hey, Offense, Get Your Shit Together
The Denver Broncos' implosion has officially reached the finger-pointing stage. After Sunday's 16-3 loss to the New England Patriots, which was Denver's third loss in four games, members of the Broncos' secondary (namely cornerback Aqib Talib) got into an "ugly" shouting match with the offensive line. Fellow cornerback Kayvon Webster threw more shade at his own team's offense, adding, "I can't believe that shit. We held Brady to 16 and still lose? Has that ever happened?" Hey, Broncos players, here's a gift idea for your teammates this Christmas.

Never Forget
That being a billionaire doesn't always earn you respect. Never Forget.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
COLLEGE FOOTBALL. Boca Raton Bowl: Memphis (8-4) vs. Western Kentucky (10-3) - 4pm on ESPN
COLLEGE BASKETBALL. Eastern Washington at Xavier - 3:30pm on Fox Sports 1; Charlotte vs. Maryland - 4pm on ESPN2; Maine Black Bears at Providence Friars - 5:30pm on Fox Sports 1; Creighton at Arizona State - 6pm on ESPN2
SOCCER. Bundesliga: Borussia Dortmund vs. Augsburg - 11am on Fox Sports 1
Link of the Day: Welp, here's Michael Phelps' dubstep-infused wedding video.
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