“We love you, London, but go f*ck yourself” – NFL
The NFL apparently has a love-hate relationship with London. Despite an unwavering and sometimes aggressive commitment to increase the game’s presence in Britain, including talk of a London-based franchise
(hence aggressive), the league continues to serve international fans unwatchable, dogshit matchups. Per example, the 2017 slate has been released
Week 3: Ravens-Jaguars (Wembley Stadium)
Week 4: Saints-Dolphins (Wembley Stadium)
Week 7: Vikings-Browns (Twickenham Stadium)
Week 8: Cardinals-Rams (Twickenham Stadium)
We’ll give you a moment to collect yourself as you’ve undoubtedly vomited in your mouth. Each one of these games is abhorrently offensive on one level or another. Ravens-Jags is blowout city, Saints-Dolphins is a “who gives a shit” battle of mediocrity between two teams destined to be 7-9 (at best) next year, Vikings-Browns features the worst team in the NFL, and Cardinals-Rams features the second-worst team in the NFL (record be damned, we stand firm that the Rams are the second-biggest pile of shit behind the Browns). So why give London table scraps? Because these games sell out in a heartbeat
. Apparently, you can only watch so many 0-0 soccer draws before you’re willing to piss away hundreds of dollars on watching the Browns’ annual campaign for the number one pick in the draft. Not to mention NFL commissioner Roger Goodell would sooner feed a small child to an industrial meat grinder than give up ratings gold (let’s say Pats-Seahawks). With that considered, you can expect the NFL to keep shaking London’s hand despite having not whipped after a fresh dump.
Moving the games to a 1PM ET start time
won’t get us to watch this trash. Sorry, Roger.