White Guy Down, Ronda Returns, & Robot-Ball.
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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Quick Hits
  • Locker Talk. Tom Brady walked out of a press conference yesterday instead of responding to a Trump question. Hey Boston fans, never forget your smug quarterback is in bed with "The Donald." We're sure Brady was dragged there by his pussy. FYI, you can't get offended by that because it's just locker-room talk.
  • A First On The First Night. Well, Austin Matthews is a BFD. This year's first-overall draft pick made his NHL debut for the Toronto Maple Leafs last night, scoring a ridiculous four goals (best ever for a debut) in a game the Leafs still lost (5-4 to the Senators) because they're the Leafs and they suck shit. Check out all the results from day 1 of the new NHL season, including an own-goal by the Chicago Blackhawks, here.
  • Hey, Chinanu! Much like the title character in one of our favorite Nickelodeon shows (Hey, Arnold!), Houston Rockets forward Chinanu Onuaku has mastered the art of the underhand free throw, as is evident by this shot in a preseason game against the New Orleans Pelicans. This technique will come in handy to drum up positive PR during another disappointing (probably) season.
  • Not Watching The NFL This Year? Don't feel bad, no one else is either. The New York Post (we know, try not to laugh) is reporting that Monday Night Football ratings are down 10% this year. Advertisers must be stoked they're still forking over as much as $700,000 per 30-second spot.
  • Another Step Closer. You enjoying your 4-1 Raiders, Oakland? Not for long you're not. The Las Vegas Raiders stadium project cleared the Nevada Senate, which approved a bill to increase hotel room taxes to fund the stadium. So f*ck you Oakland fans and Las Vegas tourists!
  • And Then There Were Two. One of the NFL's three good, white receivers is done for the year. The New York Jets put Eric Decker on IR yesterday.

The Main Event
The return of Ronda Rousey.

We last saw UFC's former "it girl" getting her teeth kicked in (quite literally) by Holly Holm at UFC 193 last November. Undefeated until that point, Rousey's loss was a torpedo to her career, as she seemingly disappeared from EVERYWHERE (late night shows, magazine covers, and dogshit movies) overnight. She even thought about killing herself at one point. But to be fair, who wouldn't if they were associated with an abortion of a movie like The Expendables 3. Woof. That movie was such butt it even made us hate the previously badass Jason Statham (who was awesome in Spy, BTW). But, we digress...

Rousey will climb out from under her rock and return to the octagon to face Amana Nunes in UFC 207 on December 30 at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas. Hopefully Rousey will have knocked off any rust by then, or she’ll have it done for here by Nunes, who’s the current women’s bantamweight champion. Nunes earned the title after taking Miesha Tate to school at UFC 200, which isn't surprising considering it looks like Nunes could definitely beat up your dad. The rest of the fight card is TBA, but you can expect a lot of hype leading up to UFC 207 thanks to Rousey’s emergence from loser purgatory.

Try to last more than two rounds this time to make our $39.99 Pay-Per-View bill worth it, Ronda.

Good Sport
I'm Done... Next Year
192-year-old NBA player Paul Pierce has finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel. The longtime Boston Celtic, and current LA Clippers forward, has announced he'll retire at the end of the season as a member of the Celtics. "Thanks for making it uncomfortable to talk to you in the locker-room this year, bro" - Clippers teammates (also, insert Trump joke here about locker-room chatter). A 10-time All-Star and NBA Finals MVP, Pierce is a hell of a player who may very well see the Hall of Fame someday.

Bad Sport
Where's The Originality?
It sounds like Derrick Rose is a piece of shit, and now he's going to pay for it. The New York Knicks point guard is in the middle of a civil lawsuit trial for an alleged sexual assault. Now, it's being reported that Rose won't return to the team until the trial is over, which shouldn't affect the Knicks' chances of under-performing yet again. Also, sexual assault is a terrible thing, but pardon us for yawning through yet ANOTHER assault case involving an athlete. Where's the originality, Rose? Kudos to Johnny Manziel for showing up to Vegas in a disguise so he could party without being noticed. Now THAT'S creative.

Good Old Caption
CAPTION THIS GIF of a look into the future of sports, where player spirit and personality have been completely removed from the game (just like NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has always wanted!). Winner gets a Good Old Sport pint glass.

Send your captions to coach@goodoldsport.com

Remember Your Picks
Get your week 6 NFL picks in for our Good Old Sport Pick 'Em Challenge! Winner gets a koozie and an infinite amount of internet street cred (even more than cats!). Submissions must be entered by 8:20pm ET TODAY.

Our BOLD PREDICTION of the Week: San Diego over Denver.
Our LOCK of the Week: Pittsburgh over Miami.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NFL. Thursday Night Football: Broncos at Chargers - 5:25pm on CBS
MLB PLAYOFFS. NLDS: Dodgers at Nationals (series tied 2-2) - 2pm on Fox Sports 1
NHL. Capitals at Penguins - 5pm on NBC Sports
NBA PRESEASON. Raptors at Cavaliers - 5pm on TNT; Trail Blazers at Clippers - 7:30pm on TNT
GOLF. European Tour: British Masters, First-Round Play - 6am on Golf Channel; PGA Tour: Safeway Open, First-Round Play - 1pm on Golf Channel
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