London Calling, Jerry Jones Biff, & Hail Mary.
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Monday, October 3, 2016

Quick Hits From Over The Weekend
  • London Calling. Maybe the Jacksonville Jaguars should play all their games overseas. The Jags got their first win of the season (1-3) with a 30-27 victory over the Indianapolis Colts in London's Wembley Stadium. Don't be too proud, Jags, you're still 0-3 in the States.
  • Bam Bam Bill. How mad did the New England Patriots' 16-0 loss to the Buffalo Bills make coach Bill Belichick yesterday? Mad enough to slam his Microsoft Surface like a little kid. To be fair, we'd be upset if we were given that instead of an iPad too.
  • Protesting The Anthem? That's So Yesterday. Washington Redskins wide reciever DeSean Jackson pulled out custom cleats depicting police caution tape to protest police violence during yesterday's 31-20 win over the Cleveland Browns.
  • Speaking Of Protests... Get a load of this guy who ran onto the field at the Detroit Lions-Chicago Bears game wearing a full-body gorilla suit and a t-shirt that said "all lives matter" and "put the guns down."
  • LOL, Jerry Jones:

The Main Event
WHAT?
162 games later (per squad), and the MLB postseason picture has finally been solidified.

WHAT ELSE?
One team that didn't make the cut are the defending World Series champion Kansas Royals, who farted around all year to the tune of a 81-81 record. Elsewhere, the defending National League champion New York Mets secured a wild card spot, and will host a one-game playoff against the San Francisco Giants tomorrow, with the winner to face the Chicago Cubs, baseball's best team (103-58), in the NLDS (National League Division Series). So here's what we got for the playoffs:

WILD CARD
Baltimore Orioles vs. Toronto Blue Jays
San Francisco Giants vs. New York Mets

ALDS
Winner of Orioles/Blues Jays vs. Texas Rangers
Boston Red Sox vs. Cleveland Indians

NLDS
Winner of Giants/Mets vs. Chicago Cubs
Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Washington Nationals

THOUGHTS?
Good Old Sport World Series Prediction: Los Angeles Dodgers over Cleveland Indians in six, because we love being wrong.

Good Sport
That Was Exciting
It was a hell of a college football weekend, highlighted by Michigan (4) pulling out the weirdest goddamn formation you've ever seen (below) in a 14-7 win over Wisconsin (8). Meanwhile, Clemson (5) edged Louisville (3) 42-36 in a top-five battle, Washington (10) stomped Stanford (7) 44-6 in a top-ten mismatch, and Tennessee (11) pulled off a miracle after coming down with a last-second, 43-yard Hail Mary to beat Georgia (25) 34-13, while simultaneously putting every Georgia fan in the country on suicide watch. If you made the mistake of not watching college football this weekend, check out the rest of the scores here.

Note: Rankings reflective of standings entering Saturday's games.
American Revolution, Part II
The United States team absolutely destroyed Europe at the 2016 Ryder Cup, coming away with a 17-11 victory to give the U.S. its first Ryder Cup win since 2008. Team Europe's Sergio Garcia's heinous shot, which was so bad it ended up in the jacket pocket of a fan, certainly didn't help Europe's cause.

Bad Sport
"We Don't Care, Either" - College Football
As it turns out, college football might care less about player safety than the NFL. Western Michigan receiver Carrington Thompson got knocked into next week, then collapsed on the field as he tried to walk off under his own power. Officials ruled the play "safe and legal," because if the NFL can get away with it why can't college football too?

G.O.A.T. of the Weekend (What is G.O.A.T.?)
Christina Nielsen. The 24-year-old Danish racer became the first female driver to win a North American, full-season pro sports car title by winning the GTD championship on Saturday. Meanwhile, Danica Patrick still looks sexy when "her hair's blowing in the wind as she's in last place," right, Daniel Tosh?

Honorable Mention: The Indianapolis Colts may suck shit (they just lost to the Jags for Christ's sake), but at least running back Frank Gore has something to smile about. With 68 rushing yards on Sunday, Gore moved into the top 10 on the NFL’s career rushing yards list, passing Marcus Allen (12,243), Edgerrin James (12,246) and Marshall Faulk (12,279).

Honorable Mention: Quarterback Matt Ryan and wide reciever Julio Jones of the Atlanta Falcons put up straight Madden numbers yesterday, with Ryan throwing for 503 yards while Jones hit 300 yards receiving (both franchise records) in a 48-33 win over the Carolina Panthers.

Goat of the Weekend (What's a Goat?)
The Carolina Panthers and the Arizona Cardinals. The two participants from last year's NFC Championship Game are butt this year. Both lost again yesterday, dropping each squad to 1-3. The Panthers have already tripled their regular season loss total from a year ago. So how are the Panthers doing without their former All-Pro cornerback Josh Norman? See above for what Julio did to their secondary.

College GameDay Sign of the Weekend
"Lamar Jackson reuses Q-tips."

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NFL. Monday Night Football: New York Giants at Minnesota Vikings - 8:15pm on ESPN
WWE. Monday Night Raw - 8pm on USA
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