DGAF, Peeing At The Poker Table, & Sugar Daddy.
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Thursday, January 14, 2016

Quick Hits

The Main Event
WHAT?
The UFC fight night of the century will soon be upon us.

WHAT ELSE?
Holly Holm (who knocked Ronda Rousey out cold) and Conor McGregor (drive-by shooting enthusiast), two of the biggest stars in UFC, will fight on the same night (March 5th), in what will be a money-making perfect storm for Pay-Per-View services. Holm, the current women's bantamweight champion, will defend her belt for the first time when she takes on Miesha Tate, who's won four fights in a row. McGregor will be up against Rafael dos Anjos, the current lightweight champion. If McGregor wins, he'll be the first UFC fighter in history to hold two titles (he won the featherweight title against Jose Aldo in December).

THOUGHTS?
Considering these matchups are a UFC fanboy's dream come true, we came up with some of our own dream bouts we'd love to see:

Ronda Rousey vs. Floyd Mayweather: These fighters have a long-standing feud, fueled by a series of back and forth jabs taken at one another through the media. When first asked about Rousey in an interview, Mayweather responded with "I don't know who he is." Rousey snapped back, saying Mayweather needs to "learn to read and write," and boasted she could beat him in a "no-rules" fight. Let's see it!

Skip Bayless vs. Stephen A. Smith: In a battle of painfully annoying, opinionated, and smug sports commentators, someone has to lose, which means we all win.

Justin Bieber vs. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: Because f*ck Justin Bieber.

Good Sport
SHE IS WOMAN, HEAR HER ROAR
Jessica Mendoza, who became the first female analyst to appear on a nationally televised MLB postseason game, will make history again by joining ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball as the first female, full-time analyst. This news likely comes as a disappointment to Atlanta radio host Mike Bell, who suggested Mendoza, whom he charmingly referred to as "Tits McGee," shouldn't be allowed to discuss baseball on-air because she's a woman. Kudos to Mendoza for staying Veronica Corningstone-strong as she ascends the corporate ladder.

Bad Sport
YOU SIT DOWN WHEN YOU PEE!
Three-time World Series of Poker winner Antonio Esfandiari was disqualified from a poker tournament for pissing into a bottle while sitting at the table. He said a bet, which required him to perform lunges everywhere he went, caused him so much leg pain that he was unable to get up to use the restroom. The golden lining is he won the bet, made with amateur poker player Bill Perkins, and will donate the winnings to charity. A generous gesture from a man who should probably have to register as a sex offender after whipping his dick out in a casino.

Remember Your Picks
Enter your NFL DIVISIONAL PLAYOFF PICKS for a chance to attain unlimited clout and a $25 gift card to NFLShop.com! Submissions must be entered by Saturday, 4:34pm ET.

Our BOLD PREDICTION of the Weekend: Kansas City over New England

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
NBA. Cavaliers at Spurs - 8pm on TNT; Lakers at Warriors - 10:30pm on TNT
NHL. Blackhawks at Canadiens - 7:30pm on NBC Sports
COLLEGE BASKETBALL. Iowa at Michigan State - 7pm on ESPN; Connecticut at Tulsa - 7pm on ESPN2; Pittsburgh at Louisville - 9pm on ESPN; BYU at Gonzaga - 9pm on ESPN2; Washington at Arizona - 9pm on Fox Sports 1; California at Stanford - 11pm on Fox Sports 1
GOLF. Latin America Amateur Championship, First-Round Play - 2pm on ESPN2; Diamond Resorts Invitational, Day 1 - 2:30pm on Golf Channel; PGA Tour: Sony Open, First-Round Play - 7pm on Golf Channel
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