Drunk Soccer, Dr. Evil, & He's Not Leslie Mann.
View this email in your browser
MailChimp Logo
Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Quick Hits
  • Frickin' Laser Beams. We're not sure if Dr. Evil finally got his wish, or if an Oakland Raiders fan purposely shined a laser pointed on Houston Texans quarterback Brock Osweiler's face. Either way it was effective, as the Raiders topped the Texans 27-20 on Monday Night Football in Mexico City.
  • Fantasy Alert! Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson may be back playing football in a month. Reality Alert! If you're banking on Adrian Peterson saving your fantasy team, then you won't be making playoffs and his return won't matter in the slightest.
  • Two Christmases. The Miami Heat are planning to retire Shaq's jersey on December 22 when they play the LA Lakers, which is conveniently the team Shaq decided to be inducted into the Hall of Fame as a member of. Like a divorced parent, the Lakers, in addition to already retiring his jersey, have said they're giving Shaq a statue outside Staples Center. Looks like stepdad Pat Riley will always play second fiddle to the Lakers.

The Main Event
USMNT head coach Jurgen Klinsmann, who looks like Stephen Hawking in the picture above, has finally been fired. Now we can stop getting confused when Leslie Mann tells us to rub Jergens on her.

The unlikable German... What's that? You need us to be more specific? Fair point. Klinsmann took over the team in 2011 and began receiving fairly positive reviews right away, and had many believing he was going to be the one to finally turn around U.S. soccer. They were wrong. One of his biggest initiatives was to recruit Germans who have U.S. blood in them - mainly from U.S. soldiers who banged German women towards the end of the Cold War. Unfortunately for Klinsmann, the good USMNT eligible German players played for Germany, and the bad German players were about as good as the Americans already on the squad, so no huge success came from it.

Under Klinsmann, USMNT's greatest achievement was probably in the 2014 World Cup, when the U.S. made it out of the "Group of Death" and advanced to the Round of 16 (before losing to the waffles of Belgium 2-1). Since then, things have gone down hill, because when losing to Belgium is involved in your biggest accomplishment, you know something's wrong. The USMNT failed to quality for the Rio Olympics, and recently lost to Mexico and Costa Rica in their ongoing effort to reach the 2018 World Cup. Klinsmann is expected to be replaced by current LA Galaxy manger Bruce Arena, who previously coached the team to the quarterfinals of the 2002 World Cup

Shit or get off the pot, America. Either get good at soccer, or stop trying to convince your citizens they should care.

NFL Pick 'Em
Not only did Tory Avikian go an impressive 12-2 this week, but he also guessed the exact total score for Monday Night Football (47). Unfortunately for Tory, so did Tom Akkala. Not to worry boys, we'll rip a Good Old Sport koozie in half and send you each a piece. Enjoy!

The best of the rest include:
T-1.) Tory Avikian (12-2, 47*)
T-1.) Tom Akkala (12-2, 47*)
3.) Kelsey Rouse (12-2, 36*)
4.) Kirsten Wenker (11-3, 47*)
T-5.) Annapurna Kennedy (11-3, 41*)
T-5.) Jeff Osborn (11-3, 53*)

GET YOUR WEEK 12 PICKS IN NOW. Winner gets an entire Good Old Sport koozie unless circumstances dictate otherwise. Ask Tory and Tom, it happens. Submission deadline is 11/24 at 12:25pm ET. Note the earlier deadline due to Thanksgiving Day games!

Good Sport
Soccer Is Better Drunk.
We all knew that was the case for fans, but believe it or not, it's better when the players are too! Watch these Norwegians take the pitch, hydrating with anything but water. Yes, they're terrible at soccer, but in fairness, we don't know how bad they play sober.

Bad Sport
No Happiness League.
After John Scott, a journeyman fighter who wasn't very good at hockey, was voted to the All-Star game, the NHL changed their All-Star voting rules to prevent what took place last year from ever happening again. Now, players have to be active on an NHL team, and not injured or in the minors, which Scott was. Look at this picture of Scott and everyone else smiling at last year's All-Star game, and tell us the NHL made the right decision.

Never Forget
You have spotters for a reason. Never forget.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
SOCCER. CSKA Moscow vs. Bayer Leverkusen - 11:50am on FS1; Monaco vs. Tottenham - 2:30pm on FS1; MLS Soccer Playoff: Montreal vs. Toronto FC - 8pm on ESPN; MLS Soccer Playoff: Seattle vs. Colorado - 10pm on FS1
NCAA BASKETBALL. Maui Invitational - 1:30pm on ESPN2; Legends Classic - 3:30pm on ESPNU; Maui Invitational - 4pm on ESPN2; Legends Classic - 6pm on ESPN2; IUPUI at Marquette - 7:30pm on FS1; Maui Invitational - 8pm on ESPN2; CBE Hall of Fame Classic - 10pm on ESPN2; Maui Invitational - 10:30pm on ESPN
NHL. Blues at Bruins - 7pm on NBCSN
NCAA FOOTBALL. Akron at Ohio - 7pm on ESPNU
Funny Link of the Day: Irish Bouncer vs Drunkards
Copyright © 2016 Good Old Sport, All rights reserved.

receive a 'Weekly Recap' instead of unsubscribing    unsubscribe from this list