The Best Drunk Guy Video You'll See All Day, Destiny's Child, & Harry Caray.
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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Quick Hits

The Main Event
WHAT?
The NBA season began the way it ended, with championship celebrations.

WHAT ELSE?
Defending NBA Champions, the Cleveland Cavaliers (yes, you read that right) took on the always helpless New York Knicks, and boy was it a spectacle. Before the game, Flo Rida, a guy not from Cleveland, tried to deafen the poor people in the arena with his take on "music," the Cavs championship banner was raised, LeBron got his third ring, and J.R. Smith cried like a child.

Finally, the game began, and luckily the Cavs did well because The Undertaker was waiting for them if they didn't (pictured above). LeBron threw down a couple big dunks and ended the game with 19 points, surprising everybody by scoring less than Kevin Love (23), one of the few white basketball players remaining (maybe the NBA adapted the 'white players get an extra point every time they score' rule?). Kyrie Irving score 29 points on the way to a Cavs' 117-88 win over the Knicks.

THOUGHTS?
Have an extra $11,999 laying around? Not if you're from Cleveland Then pretend like you're a member of the Cavs by buying your very own Championship Ring.

Good Sport
Can't Stop, Won't Stop
One day after we praise New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski for being awesome, a video of him as an undercover Lyft driver where he farts and claims he studied astrophysics in school is released. The man's a modern day King Midas; everything he touches turns to bro gold.

Bad Sport
Not A Sport
Poker is so boring to watch, it takes a giant asshole to make it almost... almost tolerable. Feel free to jump around the video clip, we understand.

Wet Your Whistle Wednesday
Halloween is nearly upon us, and to celebrate we're giving you the deets on the scariest Halloween drink around... L.A. Water
That's right, nothing's more frightning than drinking water from Los Angeles, the city so dirty that this sewage drain is seriously called the "Los Angeles River." And like sewage, this drink is made up of a mixture of disgusting ingredients. Grab bottles of vodka, gin, tequila, rum, triple sec, melon liqueur, and raspberry liqueur, then pour about an ounce of each into a glass (all at once if you're a badass). Throw in a splash of sweet and sour mix and you're done! Or are you? Since this is a Halloween drink, replace your ice with dry ice so it fogs, and you might as well give your glass a Pop Rocks rim job, because adults like candy on Halloween too.

Lawyer Mandated Tip: When using dry ice, drink with a straw.
Pro Tip: Get the cheapest alcohol you can find. When you're mixing this many varieties of booze, you'll get a hangover no matter what.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
MLB PLAYOFFS. Game 2: Cubs at Indians - 8pm on FOX
NBA. Thunder at 76ers - 8pm on ESPN; Rockets at Lakers - 10:30pm on ESPN
MLS. Conference Knockout Round: Toronto FC vs Philadelphia - 7:30pm on ESPN2
WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL. Kansas State at Iowa State - 7pm on ESPNU
NHL. Bruins at Rangers - 8pm on NBCSN
PGA. WGC-HSBC Champions - 11pm on GOLF
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