This weekend is a big one for fast humans and horses alike. Sunday marks the 46th running of the New York City Marathon, while our four-legged friends will run the 33rd edition of the Breeders' Cup, a Grade 1 (top notch) horse race, generally considered to be the last big race of the season.
The New York City Marathon is the world's largest marathon
, with 50,000 people having completed the grueling, 26.2 mile journey through all five boroughs of filthy-ass New York City last year. We've never run the NYC Marathon, but, if it's anything like walking down the streets of Manhattan, we imagine the race path is filled with Starbucks garbage and human excrement. So, who'll dodge enough waste to win it this year? Hard to say, but probably a Kenyan since they've won the last four in a row
. "What do you mean 'they'"
- PC douchbag, who we'll receive a complaint email from later today.
Moving right along from human doo-doo pies
to road apples, the Santa Anita Racetrack in California will host the 2016 Breeders' Cup, which is the second-to-last time of the year white people will have an excuse to wear goofy-ass hats
(yes, we're talking about your designer Santa hat
, you bourgeoisie scum). California Chrome, who's undefeated in 2016, is the even-money favorite
to take the $6 million race this year.