Holy hell, did you know the WNBA playoffs started this week? Us neither. Let’s explore.
The WNBA postseason consists of four rounds (first, second, semifinal, final), the first of which includes a pair single-elimination games featuring the four shittiest teams from the eight that qualified
for the playoffs. Of those four shit teams, the Phoenix Mercury and the Atlanta Dream beat the Indiana Fever and the Seattle Storm (respectively) to move onto the second round, which begins tomorrow. Sorry that full-squad kneel
during the National Anthem didn’t work out for you, Fever. God wants patriots. And we all know God controls the outcome of all sporting events, right every-single-athlete-ever
So who’s gonna win this whole goddamn thing? Clearly not us after committing blasphemy against God the sports fan, so we’ll side with Vegas, who favors the top-seeded Minnesota Lynx to take home top honors… again. They’re defending champions, and have won three of the last five WNBA titles
so, clearly, we won’t be rooting for them.
What is it with the WNBA and shitty teams names? The Atlanta Dream? In what world is the shooting gallery
that is Metro Atlanta a dream
? Thank Christ real basketball is almost here. Note: Complaints about Good Old Sport’s misogynist slant can be sent directly to email@example.com, where they’ll undoubtedly go unread.