Rob Rob Ryan, Beating Old People, & Twitter War.
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Friday, September 9, 2016

Friday Fun

The Main Event
Unbeknownst to you, the 2016 Women's Baseball World Cup is underway in South Korea. And no, neither “women” nor “baseball” are typos there. These gals are playing overhand, hard-ass shit.

The biennial tournament, founded in 2004, has featured just two winners in its 12-year history: Japan and the United States, with the U.S. winning the first two World Cups, while Japan has cleaned up ever since. The land of the rising sun figures to dominate this year’s field (12 countries) once again, having already breezed through the first round with a 3-0 record. Japan and Venezuela were the only teams to enter the second round (Sept. 7-10) undefeated. The States, however, have already been eliminated after dropping the ball (literally) in a 10-2, first-round loss to Australia. In any case, the Japanese will probably hoist their fifth-consecutive World Cup title by tournament’s end this weekend (Sept. 11).

Not only have the women been killing it, but Japanese men have also mastered baseball ass-kickery, having won two of the three World Baseball Classics played to date. Sorry baseball purists, but America’s pastime is now officially Japan’s present time.

Good Sport
Bling Bling
Cleveland Cavaliers forward Richard Jefferson leaked a photo of the Cavs’ NBA championship ring, which surprisingly isn’t half-bad.

Bad Sport
Get 'Em While They're Young
Spanish soccer clubs Real Madrid and Atletico Madrid lost their transfer ban appeals, which they were slapped with for breaking the rules regarding the transfer of foreign players under 18. Each team's one-year transfer ban has been reinstated. At least we're just talking about soccer here. The punishment for illegally luring people under 18 outside of sports is much worse, unless you live in Arkansas (age of consent: 16).

G.O.A.T. of the Week (What is G.O.A.T.?)
Serena Williams. The manliest woman in professional sports now owns one of the manliest records to go along with it. Her win over Russian Yaroslava Shvedova in the fourth round of the U.S. Open on Monday gave Williams her 308th grand slam victory, most of any player in history, male or female.

Goat of the Week (What's a Goat?)
Bruce Miller. The (now former) San Francisco 49ers fullback knows how to party. After a drunken night out, Miller attempted to enter a hotel room that wasn’t his, and proceeded to beat a 70-year-old man and his 29-year-old son with a cane after they informed him he had the wrong room. He's been charged with seven felonies and (surprise!) was released by the Niners.

Tweets of the Week
Former USMNT player Eric Wynalda and current USMNT midfielder Alejandro Bedoya engaged in a juvenile Twitter beef for the ages when Wynalda questioned why Bedoya is still in the starting lineup. Bedoya responded by calling Wynalda a “has been.” Next we assume Wynalda will tell Bedoya he’s not invited to his birthday party, and Bedoya will respond with, “I’m telling my mom on you!” Check out the full exchange here.

Good Old Caption Winner
“Dumb and Dumber… the college days.” – Taylor Murray

The inspiration for Harry and Lloyd’s colorful suits had to come from somewhere, and now thanks to Taylor, we know. Try not to get any paint on your new Good Old Sport koozies.

What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
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