Resident Bareknuckle 2024-Expert Waxes Truth
While there’s a ton of cool stuff (you’ve gotta see this stuff) in the year 2024, here’s a list of promises that still aren’t reality.
Ever been having “fun,” first-date banter and the person across the table asks you questions like “Do you have any pet peeves?” Oh, that’s just the cutest. Here’s one: Broken hoverboard promises since, what, 1989? Here’s another one: Having to now listen to this person’s pet peeves and pretend to be entertained because, well, the bed can be a lonely place.
*Life-sized hoverboards, not this crap.
If you’re like us, you spend your morning commute putting on lipstick, sluggin coffee, texting your cats, eating Subway breakfast wraps, flipping SiriusXM to and from Hair Nation and thinking, “there’s gotta be a better way to do more awesome things at 78 mph.” Well, in 2024 there still ain’t.
*Ones that don’t kill you, not this crap.
-COVID Vaccine Shots*
Sorry folks. Don’t shoot the messenger. Good news, we’re close to having a Kirkland-brand vaccine, so, fingers crossed, I love you.
*Ones that don’t kill you.
-Spam Call Blockers
If nostradami* refer to 2023 as “the year of the deadly protein bars” (they do), then consider 2024 “the year of the never-ending string of spam calls,” which all appear to originate from the spam-call center of the universe, Parhump, Nev.
*Pretty cool plural, eh?
Nope. Thanks, “science.”