It’s for speeches like Viola Davis’s at the January 30th SAG Awards that I wade through the awards season shows. Here’s her acceptance speech for Best Actress in a Drama Series for her role of Annalise Keating in How to Get Away With Murder:
“There’s a famous saying: I’m not who you think I am. You are who you think I am. And I think about that because people are always saying, ‘Wow, Annalise is an antihero. And don’t you worry that she’s not likeable? And don’t you worry that she’s not a mentor?’ And I always think, Why do I have to be a hero? Why do you have to like me? And why do I have to be a mentor? My job as an actor is just to create a human being to the best of my ability – flawed, messy. Maybe not always likeable; maybe not cute. It is my job and I do it to the best of my ability.”
I’m not an actor, so I can’t relate on that level, but I am a human being, doing that to the best of my ability. I’m also a writer, with a new website, doing that to the best of my ability. Most days, though, I find myself doubting whether it’s enough – judging the value of what I’m putting out there, and why I’m doing it at all.
That reminds me of the piece I wrote a couple weeks back about wanting to be important to the world. Wanting to make a difference. Wanting, at the heart of it, to be a hero.
In the words of Viola Davis, Why do I have to be a hero? Or, maybe I just need to change my definition of hero. Isn’t doing what I’m doing, to the best of my ability, a heroic act?
I think it is; I just want to start believing it and living it.
Here are links to my latest posts at PlentyWoman.com:
Smart Because You Say I Am? an essay
People Think I’m Stupid When I Don’t Know Things: Worry Journal Exercise
Trust What You Know: Guided Meditation (4 Minutes)
I felt particularly unsure about putting these pieces out there. Honestly, I don’t know if the writing is any different or if my anxiety level (and subsequent insecurity) was just particularly high last week – because of the topic and, frankly, PMS kicking my ass.
The point is, I don’t want it to matter.
I just want to do my best – on any given day, with any given task, in any given mood – and have that be good enough. I know you want the same for yourself, and I am indescribably grateful for your participation on this journey to get there.
Wishing you a Best of Your Ability Day,
P.S. As you can see, I’m doing the newsletter a little differently now. Instead of just links to the latest posts, the Plenty Woman Weekly, as I’m calling it, will include unique content from now on that you won’t find on the website. So please share this email with anyone you think might like it.
Also, please feel free to reply if you’d like to share your thoughts, especially if you’re reluctant to share in comments on the blog or social media sites. One way or another, I’d love to hear from you.