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Tuesday, May 1
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Not that kind...

Adult Teenagers, Too?

Today is an especially exciting day -- and, no, it's not because we are getting some 70°F weather! It's because we have one more day before the opening night of the 39th annual Special K! Revue: Leaders of Brav'ry & Grit: Adult Teenagers too! For once, we get to invade undergrad buildings, muahaha.

If you don't have tickets yet, start refreshing CampusGroups now -- I hear Special K! just released a few extra tickets for the sold-out Friday night shows...

And, if you couldn't tell already, today's special issue of Daybreak is brought to you by Special K! How very special!

 

SAD stands for...Super Awesome Day!

 

As much fun as the Daybreak crew has using this section to trick you into busting out your booty shorts in February, we've decided to add some helpful caveats to the following farce from the National Weather Service:

TODAY WILL BE MOSTLY SUNNY. HIGH 74°F.

  • In the morning, when you are walking to the Glub and in the most need of encouraging warmth and Vitamin D, it will be cloudy and 40°F.
  • It will be 74°F for approximately ten minutes between 1:50 p.m. and 2 p.m., when you are in class. Your professor will ignore your pleas to hold class outside (it's worth a shot in a MORS class, though).
  • Apply the standard Chicago weather discount rate of -20°F to the above temperatures to account for wind chill.
  • While it has nothing to do with the weather, an undergrad may hit you with his bike, or you could be attacked by bees.
  • Look, just take an Uber from OHO. Uber Forecast: Complete control of the temperature and 75% chance of free candy and a mini water bottle.

Time for Tuesday

  • Tue-riffic! What exciting diversions do we have today? Craps tabling in Gies Plaza hosted by the MGM Grand? Lech n' Learn with Hustler Magazine publisher Larry Flynt? Hershey's Hugs in the candy dish? Let's take a look!
  • Umm...

 

Let's take a look at Wednesday!

  • 3D print at the Glub's MakeLAB. Head down to the MakeLAB and learn how IDEA uses its 3D printer to make a variety of products, from silicone bananas and cucumbers to plastic beer tap handles in a variety of widths and sizes (11:00 a.m., 1437). 
  • Screening of The Goal 2: Herbie Scores. Based on the previously unpublished sequel to Eli Goldratt's groundbreaking drama, The Goal 2 follows a (still) romantically neglected Julie and her love affair with now 24-year-old Herbie, a strapping stud who has no trouble fitting his inventory through a bottleneck (12:15 p.m., Innovation Lab). *standing room only

MERCI for the generous gift!

By now, we've all heard the rumors, so let's make it official: our beloved Global Hub is now a personal La Croix Hub: a National Beverage Corporation Property™! Here's a portion of the press release from our newest corporate sponsor:

"National Beverage Corp. is proud to partner with Kellogg's™ in pioneering a top-notch business education at this state-of-the-art facility. We are confident that La Croix Hub, AKA "The Glub", will empower students and professors to achieve new heights in management expertise, leadership excellence, and refreshment."

Wow! To re-fraise NBC, orange you berry glad you mango here?

Negotiations in action: how to persuade a undergrad to leave The Hub

Let's set a familiar scene: it's Wednesday, you're hungover, and you're walking to your favorite chair at the French Quarter to Slack it up with your best buds, only to find your spot taken by an undergrad! The clever Daybreak crew is here with tips on how to use the power of negotiation to take back The Hub!

Q:  Undergrads clearly don't realize how young they look, so they take study spots away from fancy MBA candidates like me. What should I say if I see one in my spot?
A: Make sure you start off confident and assertive. If you see a muscular 22-year-old back-up quarterback in your seat, resting his chiseled jaw on his fist as he reads a basic economics textbook, look him right in his powder-blue eyes and offer to tutor him at your apartment later that night.

Q:  I think you may have misunderstood. I'm not interested in tutoring an undergrad, I just want him to leave.
A: Trepidation is understandable, but trust me, these undergrads would kill to get with a former (and future) consultant with a Kellogg MBA. Take them to Trattoria Demi, whip out that Chase Sapphire Reserve, talk about Yacht Week, and they will be putty in your paws.

Q:  Okay, I think I see the problem. The question is not how to get the undergrads to leave with me, just to leave and take up space somewhere else.
A: The great thing about these undergrads is, no baggage. Unlike these Kellogg guys who have romantic rap sheets that are a mile long.

Q:  Forget it. I'm not that desperate. Thanks for nothing.
A: You're welcome!

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