We're so sorry for the broken link to Chaney's blog on our previous email. This email has fixed that link. - HCI
APRIL 2017 NEWSLETTER
Transformation
Letter from Betsy
Beautiful People!
My husband, Sam, exemplifies joy. The other day, I had a routine blood draw and was so touched to realize that the technicians who draw blood at our local Kaiser have all fallen in love with Sam. “He brings us treats!” one of the ladies told me with a smile. “We are all praying for him.” Sam is bringing joy to everyone around him as he battles MDS. He’s endured 38 shots to his stomach and 8 or 9 blood transfusions and in every situation he makes new friends. This week we had some good news: his red blood cell count is a little higher—no transfusion this week, Yay!–and he has been referred to Johns Hopkins where an experimental treatment could provide a cure.
It is a long road when you love someone with a life-threatening illness. People ask how I am and I am reminded of the C.S. Lewis quote: “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”
Still. Still. In the crucible of suffering, I see long sought changes in myself. Something beautiful is sprouting in the deep and rather muddy ruts of my soul. I am being changed.
So is my friend Chaney, a 20-something member of our board, whose energy and enthusiasm keep us all hopping! She’s our guest blogger today and in her post Chaney describes how she is being changed, something she recognized when she was a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding.
Jan Johnson, in her new book, Meeting God in Scripture, notes that “God has chosen each of us and thinks about us, including how we can be transformed into a person who is deeply good and pleasing (Ephesians 1: 4, 11).
Think about that! This is such good news. I want to be transformed into a person who is deeply good and pleasing.
How about you? Close your eyes, take a few deep breathes and let it sink in. You are chosen. God thinks about you all the time. His desire is to transform you into a person who is deeply good and pleasing to him.
Just like Chaney, we can all learn how to interact with him and see ourselves and all of life from his perspective. If you do, you will be transformed.
Much love and prayers for transformation!
In Our Mailbox
Betsy,
You and Sam and your family are in our hearts—we are praying for Sam’s return to physical health and for all of you to experience God’s presence in a tangible way together with his peace and joy! Your new Life Model training book Living Relationally is transformative—a marvelous contribution—in its incorporation of seemingly all of the various courses’ material into one! I can imagine this tool speeding up our development of brain and relational skills precipitously—and hence our maturity! We, in my Living Relationally class, applaud you! I am attempting to spread the word and share the concept and value of acquiring and developing these skills. This morning, my spouse and I did Chapter 6 together as we really needed help as we cope with a couple of challenges in this season of life. We are increasing our joy capacity and getting healed in building our attachment to the Lord and each other. Well done, and thank you for your outstanding work!
– Karen
How I Acted Like Myself at My Friend's Wedding
Weddings are some of the most joyous occasions, but as someone who struggles with anxiety, they can also be sources of tremendous stress. I’ve been in many weddings now, and they used to be punctuated by extreme distress—complete with feelings of inadequacy and devastation whenever the slightest thing went wrong. But recently, I have been learning more and more at each big, panic-inducing event to implement skills that I have learned through HCI so that I am inviting Immanuel into the ugly moments as well as the happy ones.
In 2016, I was honored to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of my former college roommate. I arrived two nights before the wedding, and there was a lot to do in 36 hours. As soon as I arrived, the bride called me to say she was running late picking me up from the airport, and started listing all that had already gone wrong. I was able to stay calm, to focus on listening to her concerns. I offered reassurance and comfort, but mostly just stayed relational, knowing my job isn’t to have all the answers, but to be present in the pain.
When we got to where we were staying, our generous hostess showed us to our rooms. The bride parked her car in the street for the night, and it seemed like we would finally get some much-needed rest. But at about 3:15 am, we awoke to loud cries and commotion. The car had been towed in the middle of the night. No one had noticed the no parking sign in the darkness. In a fervor of activity, the groom drove to where we were staying with his car to give the bride a ride to pick up hers, and I was left to calm down our sweet hostess, who was beside herself, weeping with shame—feeling like it was all her fault.
I was able to coach her through a version of Shalom for my Body, which calmed her breathing, and then led an Immanuel session right there, leaning on the kitchen counter in the middle of the night. “Jesus, how do you see this situation? Is it our fault?” Both of us were extremely comforted by the words that he spoke and were at last able to sleep. We also felt so bonded that the rest of the wedding week we were great friends!
But that was just the beginning of how much I needed the skills I’ve learned through HCI. The next day I was told that with just over 24 hours to go, the programs hadn’t even been started. At first I felt shame that I couldn’t design one myself, but quickly returned to joy from shame so I had all of my brain “on” and could creatively solve the problem. I ended up calling a designer friend of mine who whipped up a program in a matter of hours, a program the bride thought was the most beautiful she had ever seen.
Getting them printed was the next hurdle. After the rehearsal dinner, we went to the local print shop, only to be greeted by an extremely stressed worker who was not happy to have another last-minute job. I recognized that she was overwhelmed and simply told her, “I’m so sorry we didn’t clearly communicate with you about this project. You must be feeling so overwhelmed.” Instead of losing my relational circuits, I was able to attune to her. We had to wait while she finished other projects, and as we waited, I became restless. Feeling my shalom slipping away, I turned to my companions and asked them to share their favorite part of the day. All of a sudden, we were smiling and laughing with recollections of rehearsal dinner speeches and unexpected anecdotes that the day had held!
The wedding itself was beautiful and nearly perfect. The day after, however, a sleep deprived Chaney hung out with the family of the bride, only to learn that the mother of the bride had severely injured her hip while dancing. It was painful watching her limp around, until I remembered that Immanuel could come help us with this as well! I rallied to family and we laid hands on her, asking for healing. Although she did not experience instant pain relief, we all felt so connected in our care for her and one another that joy filled our hearts.
As I reflected on those three days, I realized with delight that I had brought in HCI “exercises” to my week and was succeeding in making them a natural part of my lifestyle. From reflective listening, to Shalom for my Body, to Return to Joy from shame, to joy building exercises, to healing prayer. I shudder to imagine what that wedding must have been like if it weren’t for HCI! What a large impact just a small bit of experiential knowledge can have on our daily lives! I am so proud to support a ministry that is changing me from the inside out.
After being so impacted by the work of Healing Center International, Chaney now serves on its board of directors to help spread the message of hope and healing to our world.
Immanuel Day Workbook - Coming Soon!
Help us finish Immanuel Day by giving this month to Healing Center International. We are soooo close to being done! Help us cross the finish line.
This new product will give you everything you need to lead a group of your own in an all day encounter with God which will transform the entire group.
AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE
All of our relationships were meant to be life-giving, but many are more painful than joyful. Learn how to build joy with those you love and how to connect deeply and intimately with God so that you can interact with him throughout your day whenever you need comfort, guidance or just someone to love you. Living Relationally examines what life could be like if you had the relational skills to connect easily with God and others. Learn to live a life focused on relationships instead of one focused on success or performance.
Our Mission:
HCI disciples people to process the joys and sorrows of life so that communities become courageous and mature, loving each other and Jesus well.
Our Vision:
Making joyful relationships in Christ a reality